Grumpiness Appreciator Pillows

'Underneath that crusty exterior is a lovely pie filling.'

"Stick-in-the-mud Cruise"

"I hope you don't call that a party face."

Children throwing snowballs at an elderly gentleman

'Be advised, Monday through Thursday I don't do 'perky'.'

'Did somebody order a Grumpy Meal?'

'Cheer up,only ten minutes to go and you can get miserable again.'

Elf on a shelf/Grouch on a couch

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

'Why am I such a grouch?'

"You have the Hum bug.'

Everyone at happy hour is grumpy.

'Cheer up...'

Thanks for making the breakfast meeting, Harris.

Middle age means a constant struggle not to be irritated by everyone and everything.

Actual reader mail. Dear Dr. Sadie, Bless you Doctor. I wrote you back last July and asked you if I could expand my grumpiness beyond getting up in the morning. I took your wonderful advice and now there isn't a neighbor, fellow employee or friend that's not fed up with me. You have given me a new existence and once I get out of this lousy jail I'll let the rest of the world know just how annoying I am. I owe it all to you, Sadie. If you ever need a testimonial, call me. Signed, An ol' stick in

"Sometimes, on days like this, I feel like the world is conspiring to make me happy."

"He might be moody, but he's the best in the city...and worth every penny!"

At the Irritable Bowel Syndrome Convention.

"People keep telling me that it takes more facial muscles to frown than it does to smile... I tell them that I am working out."

'He's switched from tweeting on Twitter to growling on a new social media site called Growler. Suits him better.'

"He's learning how to mutter in Spanish

"Is everything okay, dear? You're smiling!"

"You're still grumpy. See if you can get a refund on that Happy Meal."

"Well, we’ve covered the weather, my prostate, your incontinence … I suppose our idiot children are up next?"

I HATE STUFF

Uncle Murray Weekly

'Maybe the world isn't getting less friendly, maybe you're just getting grumpier.'

"But a deep sense of grievance and indignation IS my Happy Place."

Wife about mad man leaving church: 'You'll have to excuse my husband. He always wakes up grumpy.'

"It's armageddon week on TV. The death of hope always lightens his mood."

Bakery Window: Cross Buns and Cross Gingerbread Men!

'Don't you snap at me, mister!'

'Dinner.'

Crappy Diem