Grumpiness Connoisseur Pillows

"Is everything okay, dear? You're smiling!"

Sign on desk reads: 'Thanks for not wishing me a nice day.'

'Looks like no Christmas bonus this year.'

"I hope you don't call that a party face."

"There has been a sharp increase in his cantankerousness."

'You're so nice and friendly that I've got nothing to moan about. That's a bit of cheek!'

'Why am I such a grouch?'

Grumpy old merry men.

"You have the Hum bug.'

Everyone at happy hour is grumpy.

Grumpy Old Men

Thanks for making the breakfast meeting, Harris.

'Cheer up...'

At the Irritable Bowel Syndrome Convention.

"Sometimes, on days like this, I feel like the world is conspiring to make me happy."

"He might be moody, but he's the best in the city...and worth every penny!"

Middle age means a constant struggle not to be irritated by everyone and everything.

'Kids get right up my nose!'

'Self-help books for cynics'

"People keep telling me that it takes more facial muscles to frown than it does to smile... I tell them that I am working out."

"He's learning how to mutter in Spanish

I HATE STUFF

"Well, we’ve covered the weather, my prostate, your incontinence … I suppose our idiot children are up next?"

Uncle Murray Weekly

'Maybe the world isn't getting less friendly, maybe you're just getting grumpier.'

'Maybe the world isn't getting less friendly, maybe you're getting grumpier.'

Wife about mad man leaving church: 'You'll have to excuse my husband. He always wakes up grumpy.'

"But a deep sense of grievance and indignation IS my Happy Place."

'Be advised, Monday through Thursday I don't do 'perky'.'

"Everything okay, Wilson?"

'Face it Marvin, you're a madstrom of conflicting emotions.'

'Dinner.'