Grumpiness Aficionados Pillows

"You have the Hum bug.'

Callers of an impatient or grumpy disposition may widh to hang up at this stage.

Sign on desk reads: 'Thanks for not wishing me a nice day.'

'Looks like no Christmas bonus this year.'

"I hope you don't call that a party face."

"There has been a sharp increase in his cantankerousness."

'You're so nice and friendly that I've got nothing to moan about. That's a bit of cheek!'

Grumpy old merry men.

"Don't worry, he's improving. We'll have him up and cursing the government again."

'I swear I didn't know you'd heard that joke before...'

Thanks for making the breakfast meeting, Harris.

Grumpy Old Men

'Self-help books for cynics'

'Kids get right up my nose!'

At the Irritable Bowel Syndrome Convention.

"And to my brother, who I promised to mention in my will, 'Hi Grumpy'!"

"People keep telling me that it takes more facial muscles to frown than it does to smile... I tell them that I am working out."

I HATE STUFF

"Well, we’ve covered the weather, my prostate, your incontinence … I suppose our idiot children are up next?"

Uncle Murray Weekly

"Is everything okay, dear? You're smiling!"

Helen's husband is an old grump, too.

'Maybe the world isn't getting less friendly, maybe you're just getting grumpier.'

'Maybe the world isn't getting less friendly, maybe you're getting grumpier.'

"But a deep sense of grievance and indignation IS my Happy Place."

Wife about mad man leaving church: 'You'll have to excuse my husband. He always wakes up grumpy.'

'Be advised, Monday through Thursday I don't do 'perky'.'

Early season snow and the following thaw got all the snowmen grumbling...

Moan Pig.

"Everything okay, Wilson?"

'Face it Marvin, you're a madstrom of conflicting emotions.'

"Irritable bowls syndrome."