Grumpiness Aficionados Pillows

"You have the Hum bug.'

Callers of an impatient or grumpy disposition may widh to hang up at this stage.

Sign on desk reads: 'Thanks for not wishing me a nice day.'

'Looks like no Christmas bonus this year.'

"I hope you don't call that a party face."

"There has been a sharp increase in his cantankerousness."

'You're so nice and friendly that I've got nothing to moan about. That's a bit of cheek!'

'I hate surprises!'

Grumpy old merry men.

"Don't worry, he's improving. We'll have him up and cursing the government again."

'I swear I didn't know you'd heard that joke before...'

'Life is like a box of chocolate laxatives!' - Forest Grump

Grumpy Old Men

Thanks for making the breakfast meeting, Harris.

At the Irritable Bowel Syndrome Convention.

'Self-help books for cynics'

'Kids get right up my nose!'

"Actually, lactose is the only thing Herb isn't intolerant of."

"And to my brother, who I promised to mention in my will, 'Hi Grumpy'!"

"People keep telling me that it takes more facial muscles to frown than it does to smile... I tell them that I am working out."

"Well, we’ve covered the weather, my prostate, your incontinence … I suppose our idiot children are up next?"

Uncle Murray Weekly

I HATE STUFF

"Is everything okay, dear? You're smiling!"

Helen's husband is an old grump, too.

'Maybe the world isn't getting less friendly, maybe you're just getting grumpier.'

'Maybe the world isn't getting less friendly, maybe you're getting grumpier.'

Wife about mad man leaving church: 'You'll have to excuse my husband. He always wakes up grumpy.'

"But a deep sense of grievance and indignation IS my Happy Place."

Moan Pig.

'Be advised, Monday through Thursday I don't do 'perky'.'

'Face it Marvin, you're a madstrom of conflicting emotions.'

Early season snow and the following thaw got all the snowmen grumbling...

"Everything okay, Wilson?"

Whine Country Tours.