Grump Enthusiasts Pillows

'I hate surprises!'

Helen's husband is an old grump, too.

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

Sign on desk reads: 'Thanks for not wishing me a nice day.'

'Looks like no Christmas bonus this year.'

"He was a grouch when I met him. It was love at first gripe."

"There has been a sharp increase in his cantankerousness."

'Next time you feel like keeping in touch, keep in touch with somebody else.'

'You're so nice and friendly that I've got nothing to moan about. That's a bit of cheek!'

Grumpy old merry men.

"You have the Hum bug.'

'Life is like a box of chocolate laxatives!' - Forest Grump

Mr. Cranky Pants Plants A Garden Part 2

Grumpy Old Men

'Self-help books for cynics'

'Kids get right up my nose!'

At the Irritable Bowel Syndrome Convention.

"Mummy's a bit grisly in the mornings. But after something to eat and a little nap, she's quite pleasant."

"And to my brother, who I promised to mention in my will, 'Hi Grumpy'!"

"People keep telling me that it takes more facial muscles to frown than it does to smile... I tell them that I am working out."

"Is everything okay, dear? You're smiling!"

"Well, we’ve covered the weather, my prostate, your incontinence … I suppose our idiot children are up next?"

Uncle Murray Weekly

'Maybe the world isn't getting less friendly, maybe you're just getting grumpier.'

'Maybe the world isn't getting less friendly, maybe you're getting grumpier.'

Wife about mad man leaving church: 'You'll have to excuse my husband. He always wakes up grumpy.'

'What are you annoyed about now?'

Early season snow and the following thaw got all the snowmen grumbling...

So much to be cross about, so little time.

Crappy Diem

'It's like a penalty shoot-out, only when it's my turn the ball morphs into a balloon!'

"Everything okay, Wilson?"

"Gretel, I don't like living in this culture of fear."

'When did I become so old and morose?' 'I know. It seems only yesterday you were young and morose.'

Whine Country Tours.