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Helen's husband is an old grump, too.

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

Sign on desk reads: 'Thanks for not wishing me a nice day.'

'Looks like no Christmas bonus this year.'

"He was a grouch when I met him. It was love at first gripe."

"There has been a sharp increase in his cantankerousness."

'You're so nice and friendly that I've got nothing to moan about. That's a bit of cheek!'

'Next time you feel like keeping in touch, keep in touch with somebody else.'

Grumpy old merry men.

"You have the Hum bug.'

Grumpy Old Men

'Kids get right up my nose!'

"Mummy's a bit grisly in the mornings. But after something to eat and a little nap, she's quite pleasant."

'Self-help books for cynics'

At the Irritable Bowel Syndrome Convention.

"And to my brother, who I promised to mention in my will, 'Hi Grumpy'!"

"People keep telling me that it takes more facial muscles to frown than it does to smile... I tell them that I am working out."

"Is everything okay, dear? You're smiling!"

Uncle Murray Weekly

"Well, we’ve covered the weather, my prostate, your incontinence … I suppose our idiot children are up next?"

'Maybe the world isn't getting less friendly, maybe you're just getting grumpier.'

'Maybe the world isn't getting less friendly, maybe you're getting grumpier.'

Wife about mad man leaving church: 'You'll have to excuse my husband. He always wakes up grumpy.'

Early season snow and the following thaw got all the snowmen grumbling...

'What are you annoyed about now?'

Crappy Diem

'It's like a penalty shoot-out, only when it's my turn the ball morphs into a balloon!'

"Everything okay, Wilson?"

So much to be cross about, so little time.

"Gretel, I don't like living in this culture of fear."

"Mr. Stephenson is the subject of a widely anticipated obituary."