Grump Aficionados T-Shirts

"And to my brother, who I promised to mention in my will, 'Hi Grumpy'!"

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

'I had my attorney draw this up. It states that if I choose to rise, I don't necessarily have to shine.'

"Well, I'm thinking about boarding school. Though I'm not sure they accept adults."

Broken Alarm Clock.

'Looks like no Christmas bonus this year.'

'Wait! That's not one of your novelty slippers...that's the cat!'

"He was a grouch when I met him. It was love at first gripe."

You have the worst spring breath.

'Did you use mouthwash this morning?'

"I know it's tough to get motivated on Mondays, but..."

'Next time you feel like keeping in touch, keep in touch with somebody else.'

'I hate surprises!'

'Misery is sleeping in late on Saturday morning then realizing it's only Wednesday...'

I am coffee and I need more coffee

'This may be the only time I'll ever bring you breakfast in bed - So wake up!'

Buzz. Go away. Buzz buzz. I'm up! The alarm clock always wants it more than you do.

"I much prefer the evening milking to the morning one: The farmer is not a "morning person", now is he?"

"You have the Hum bug.'

'Life is like a box of chocolate laxatives!' - Forest Grump

'Bonny, I've forgotten...What time is that 9 o'clock meeting tomorrow?...'

"Here! Drink your coffee... Honestly, you can be such a bear in the morning!"

Mr. Cranky Pants Plants A Garden Part 2

I'm going to hate myself in the morning, but I hate everything in the morning.

'If you get one who refuses to wake up, pour it in his lap.'

The morning show for people who HATE mornings

"Dang it."

Alarm clock.

"Mummy's a bit grisly in the mornings. But after something to eat and a little nap, she's quite pleasant."

Time stood still – which made it an easy target.

"And a 'good morning' to you, too"

"He just woke up from hibernation."

At the Irritable Bowel Syndrome Convention.

'Sounds like someone got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning.' 'Ahhhhhh!'

'Honey, remind me why we switched to decaf.'