Grump Aficionados Pillows

"And to my brother, who I promised to mention in my will, 'Hi Grumpy'!"

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

'I had my attorney draw this up. It states that if I choose to rise, I don't necessarily have to shine.'

"Well, I'm thinking about boarding school. Though I'm not sure they accept adults."

'Looks like no Christmas bonus this year.'

Broken Alarm Clock.

'Wait! That's not one of your novelty slippers...that's the cat!'

"He was a grouch when I met him. It was love at first gripe."

'Did you use mouthwash this morning?'

"I know it's tough to get motivated on Mondays, but..."

'Next time you feel like keeping in touch, keep in touch with somebody else.'

'Misery is sleeping in late on Saturday morning then realizing it's only Wednesday...'

I am coffee and I need more coffee

'This may be the only time I'll ever bring you breakfast in bed - So wake up!'

"I much prefer the evening milking to the morning one: The farmer is not a "morning person", now is he?"

"You have the Hum bug.'

'Bonny, I've forgotten...What time is that 9 o'clock meeting tomorrow?...'

The morning show for people who HATE mornings

"Here! Drink your coffee... Honestly, you can be such a bear in the morning!"

I'm going to hate myself in the morning, but I hate everything in the morning.

'If you get one who refuses to wake up, pour it in his lap.'

"Dang it."

Alarm clock.

"Mummy's a bit grisly in the mornings. But after something to eat and a little nap, she's quite pleasant."

At the Irritable Bowel Syndrome Convention.

"And a 'good morning' to you, too"

"He just woke up from hibernation."

Time stood still – which made it an easy target.

'Honey, remind me why we switched to decaf.'

"People keep telling me that it takes more facial muscles to frown than it does to smile... I tell them that I am working out."