Grumpiness Enthusiasts Pillows

Sign on desk reads: 'Thanks for not wishing me a nice day.'

'Looks like no Christmas bonus this year.'

"I hope you don't call that a party face."

"There has been a sharp increase in his cantankerousness."

'You're so nice and friendly that I've got nothing to moan about. That's a bit of cheek!'

'Why am I such a grouch?'

Grumpy old merry men.

"Don't worry, he's improving. We'll have him up and cursing the government again."

'I swear I didn't know you'd heard that joke before...'

"You have the Hum bug.'

Everyone at happy hour is grumpy.

'Cheer up...'

Grumpy Old Men

'Kids get right up my nose!'

"He might be moody, but he's the best in the city...and worth every penny!"

"Sometimes, on days like this, I feel like the world is conspiring to make me happy."

At the Irritable Bowel Syndrome Convention.

'Self-help books for cynics'

Middle age means a constant struggle not to be irritated by everyone and everything.

"People keep telling me that it takes more facial muscles to frown than it does to smile... I tell them that I am working out."

"Is everything okay, dear? You're smiling!"

Uncle Murray Weekly

"Well, we’ve covered the weather, my prostate, your incontinence … I suppose our idiot children are up next?"

Helen's husband is an old grump, too.

"He's learning how to mutter in Spanish

I HATE STUFF

'Maybe the world isn't getting less friendly, maybe you're just getting grumpier.'

'Maybe the world isn't getting less friendly, maybe you're getting grumpier.'

Wife about mad man leaving church: 'You'll have to excuse my husband. He always wakes up grumpy.'