Morning Grumpiness Advocate Pillows

'See, it's right here in the prenup. Just because I rise, it doesn't necessarily mean I have to shine.'

'I had my attorney draw this up. It states that if I choose to rise, I don't necessarily have to shine.'

'Wait! That's not one of your novelty slippers...that's the cat!'

Broken Alarm Clock.

'Did you use mouthwash this morning?'

"I hope you don't call that a party face."

You have the worst spring breath.

"I know it's tough to get motivated on Mondays, but..."

"I do wish Henry could run into someone from the dress business to talk to."

'Why am I such a grouch?'

'Oh that?... It has nothing to do with the formula; it just makes the whole thing seem less grumpy.'

'Misery is sleeping in late on Saturday morning then realizing it's only Wednesday...'

I am coffee and I need more coffee

Buzz. Go away. Buzz buzz. I'm up! The alarm clock always wants it more than you do.

"I much prefer the evening milking to the morning one: The farmer is not a "morning person", now is he?"

'This may be the only time I'll ever bring you breakfast in bed - So wake up!'

"You have the Hum bug.'

'Bonny, I've forgotten...What time is that 9 o'clock meeting tomorrow?...'

I'm going to hate myself in the morning, but I hate everything in the morning.

'If you get one who refuses to wake up, pour it in his lap.'

"Here! Drink your coffee... Honestly, you can be such a bear in the morning!"

'Cheer up...'

The morning show for people who HATE mornings

Thanks for making the breakfast meeting, Harris.

"Dang it."

Alarm clock.

"He just woke up from hibernation."

Actual reader mail. Dear Dr. Sadie, Bless you Doctor. I wrote you back last July and asked you if I could expand my grumpiness beyond getting up in the morning. I took your wonderful advice and now there isn't a neighbor, fellow employee or friend that's not fed up with me. You have given me a new existence and once I get out of this lousy jail I'll let the rest of the world know just how annoying I am. I owe it all to you, Sadie. If you ever need a testimonial, call me. Signed, An ol' stick in

At the Irritable Bowel Syndrome Convention.

Middle age means a constant struggle not to be irritated by everyone and everything.

Time stood still – which made it an easy target.

"Mummy's a bit grisly in the mornings. But after something to eat and a little nap, she's quite pleasant."

"And a 'good morning' to you, too"

'Sounds like someone got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning.' 'Ahhhhhh!'

'Honey, remind me why we switched to decaf.'