Grumpiness Expert Pillows

'Don't you snap at me, mister!'

"I hope you don't call that a party face."

"I do wish Henry could run into someone from the dress business to talk to."

'Why am I such a grouch?'

'Oh that?... It has nothing to do with the formula; it just makes the whole thing seem less grumpy.'

Meeting at the Grumpy Old Men's Pub.

"You have the Hum bug.'

Everyone at happy hour is grumpy.

Thanks for making the breakfast meeting, Harris.

'Cheer up...'

At the Irritable Bowel Syndrome Convention.

"If you're going out, pick up some candles."

Middle age means a constant struggle not to be irritated by everyone and everything.

"People keep telling me that it takes more facial muscles to frown than it does to smile... I tell them that I am working out."

'See, it's right here in the prenup. Just because I rise, it doesn't necessarily mean I have to shine.'

I HATE STUFF

"Is everything okay, dear? You're smiling!"

"Well, we’ve covered the weather, my prostate, your incontinence … I suppose our idiot children are up next?"

Uncle Murray Weekly

'Maybe the world isn't getting less friendly, maybe you're just getting grumpier.'

Wife about mad man leaving church: 'You'll have to excuse my husband. He always wakes up grumpy.'

"But a deep sense of grievance and indignation IS my Happy Place."

Grumpy old men: I was an nwanted child, even my mother left me before I was born.

'Be advised, Monday through Thursday I don't do 'perky'.'

'Face it Marvin, you're a madstrom of conflicting emotions.'

Moan Pig.

It was only a matter of time until Gertrude turned into a grumpy cat.

'Dinner.'

Grumpy Moody Boy.

Why weathermen are forced to retire at 55.

'You'll love Elliot, Father, He despises everyone even more than you do!'