Fan Of Funny Complaints Gifts

'There's supposed to be 56 million bubbles in a bottle of Champagne -- I only counted 54, 325,775.'

'If this is tea, I'll have a coffee. If it's a coffee, I'll have a tea!'

"War is hell and so is this soup."

Flyfishing for dummies.

'I wanted this on the rocks.'

In, Out, Complain.

'Say, Hon. . . the pizza's burning.'

"Okay, ha ha, now seriously...Where's the rest of the nuts?"

"The blow drier is broken."

'He'll do the dishes now that I've attached an accelerator.'

'Someday we'll look back on this and think, ‘Why the hell didn't we sue?' '

Complaints departement for men and women.

'A word of advice, the squeaky wheel gets the totally organic, 0 trans-fat, soy-based lubricant.'

'Maybe putting 'Sleep 20 Hours A Day' first on the list wasn't such a good idea.'

Continental Breakfast...$2.99: 'What continent is THIS supposed to represent?'

Complaints clerk to consumer: A hair in your TV dinner? Maybe it belongs to a celebrity!

'Certainly you may come in for a drink. You live here.'

Rodin's Irish Judge

'I wish you would come to me first with your grievances, instead of going directly to the United Nations Committee on Human Rights.'

"I’ve changed my mind. I no longer want to conquer the world. I just want to conquer those two..."

"Please don't go!"

Moanathon.

'I don't like to complain, Evelyn, but aren't these family reunions getting out of hand?'

'I thought I'd seen everything, and then my wife came up with tofu fajitas.'

"I can't sleep... it's too warm in here."

Minnesota Weather.

Airline concerns.

"We only shop brick and mortar because my husband likes to be disgruntled face-to-face when returning things."

'I hate them too. Listen, would you like to go out sometime? Dinner maybe? We could complain about the service.'

'Hello, Room Service?'

'Oh, well done dear. I'll just go and clear a space in the freezer for it.'