Complaint Humor Gifts

Flyfishing for dummies.

'If this is tea, I'll have a coffee. If it's a coffee, I'll have a tea!'

"War is hell and so is this soup."

'I wanted this on the rocks.'

In, Out, Complain.

'Someday we'll look back on this and think, ‘Why the hell didn't we sue?' '

"Okay, ha ha, now seriously...Where's the rest of the nuts?"

Complaints departement for men and women.

'A word of advice, the squeaky wheel gets the totally organic, 0 trans-fat, soy-based lubricant.'

Complaints clerk to consumer: A hair in your TV dinner? Maybe it belongs to a celebrity!

'I wish you would come to me first with your grievances, instead of going directly to the United Nations Committee on Human Rights.'

Minnesota Weather.

'I don't like to complain, Evelyn, but aren't these family reunions getting out of hand?'

Moanathon.

'I thought I'd seen everything, and then my wife came up with tofu fajitas.'

"You say that life is suffering, but isn't it also complaining?"

'I hate them too. Listen, would you like to go out sometime? Dinner maybe? We could complain about the service.'

"We only shop brick and mortar because my husband likes to be disgruntled face-to-face when returning things."

'Hello, Room Service?'

'To be honest, you're the only one who sometimes bothers to hear my complaints.'

Wine, Whine. Unwind.

'How long do I have to sit like this? My neck is stiff, my arms ache. I've got pins and needles...'

"My left buttock is noticeable larger than my right and my dog is missing his hind legs."

'There's supposed to be 56 million bubbles in a bottle of Champagne -- I only counted 54, 325,775.'

'We found your luggage! It went to Buffalo!'

"True, the fly is not in my soup. But it took one taste of my soup and dropped dead."

Could I trade in this greyhound for a dachshund? My doctor says I have to slow up.

"I think I speak for all of us."

Patience Tested While You Wait.

"One more remark like that, lady, and you'll never get to see this show."

"The Grumpy Old Man comes with a side of, Get A haircut, Turn That Thing Down or Get Off My Lawn."