Complaint Humor Gifts

Flyfishing for dummies.

'If this is tea, I'll have a coffee. If it's a coffee, I'll have a tea!'

"War is hell and so is this soup."

'I wanted this on the rocks.'

Man from refuse department says: 'We'll send you a new wheelie bin, Mrs Trubshaw, there's really no need to 'orchestrate a mass Twitter campaign'.'

In, Out, Complain.

'A word of advice, the squeaky wheel gets the totally organic, 0 trans-fat, soy-based lubricant.'

"Okay, ha ha, now seriously...Where's the rest of the nuts?"

Complaints departement for men and women.

'Someday we'll look back on this and think, ‘Why the hell didn't we sue?' '

Complaints clerk to consumer: A hair in your TV dinner? Maybe it belongs to a celebrity!

'I wish you would come to me first with your grievances, instead of going directly to the United Nations Committee on Human Rights.'

Moanathon.

Minnesota Weather.

'I don't like to complain, Evelyn, but aren't these family reunions getting out of hand?'

'He's sending it back....again! I swear this guy can't get no satisfaction.'

'I thought I'd seen everything, and then my wife came up with tofu fajitas.'

'Hey Dave, check out the kinky underwear this chick is taking on her trip!'

"You say that life is suffering, but isn't it also complaining?"

'I hate them too. Listen, would you like to go out sometime? Dinner maybe? We could complain about the service.'

"We only shop brick and mortar because my husband likes to be disgruntled face-to-face when returning things."

'When I said you should complain about your steak I didn't mean whining about it on twitter.'

'Hello, Room Service?'

"My left buttock is noticeable larger than my right and my dog is missing his hind legs."

After eating here for years, I've come down with abdominal pain and fatigue. Oh yeah? Also, irritability, sleep problems, headaches, loss of appetite, inexplicable weight loss, vomiting and constipation. Also, it took me three whole hours to figure out my new Apple watch, so chalk me up for learning difficulties. You're not by chance trying to get in one last lawsuit before Trump deregulates everything, are you? Heavens, no. Just feeling a little lead-poisony is all I'm saying.

Wine, Whine. Unwind.

"True, the fly is not in my soup. But it took one taste of my soup and dropped dead."

'We found your luggage! It went to Buffalo!'

'To be honest, you're the only one who sometimes bothers to hear my complaints.'

Could I trade in this greyhound for a dachshund? My doctor says I have to slow up.

'How long do I have to sit like this? My neck is stiff, my arms ache. I've got pins and needles...'

'There's supposed to be 56 million bubbles in a bottle of Champagne -- I only counted 54, 325,775.'

"I think I speak for all of us."

Patience Tested While You Wait.

"One more remark like that, lady, and you'll never get to see this show."