Noise Complaint Humorist Gifts

'The bloke from downstairs has come to complain about the noise.'

"I thought they were cracking down on jaywalking."

Flyfishing for dummies.

Hoodie Hang-out

"Okay, ha ha, now seriously...Where's the rest of the nuts?"

Cop gives ASBO to cockerel: 'This of this as a cock-a-doodle-don't.'

'I don't like to complain, Evelyn, but aren't these family reunions getting out of hand?'

Minnesota Weather.

Ding and Dong.

'There's supposed to be 56 million bubbles in a bottle of Champagne -- I only counted 54, 325,775.'

"In space, there is no sound. Except those - we can still hear those @#%* things."

'Peace is at hand! - I just signed the Bagpipe Limitation Treaty!'

'Not 'til you make it stop yappin'!'

"Excuse me, would you mind taking your portable zombie game to another carriage?"

'So there's a fly in your beer — why begrudge a fellow creature a little happiness?'

But the brochures says breakfast in bed! Yes, only if you carry your bed down to the dining room!

"When it comes to blowing leaves around uselessly and creating an insane amount of noise, this model can't be beat."

"O.K., O.K., let's take the F.D.R."

This is a library - no sonic booms, please.

Complain to a bear

Where did birds rest before utility wires?

"Do you mind? That’s really annoying."

'Could you speak up a little? - I've got six billion of the little twerps buzzing in my ears!'

The Denouement is Nigh!

'I wish the human upstairs would take his boots off!'

Oh Frank, Cicadas have moved next door! We need to sound-proof the house...

"They were great snorers."

"The view is all prewar brick."

'Open up Mr. Yomp! I can hear clucking in thee!'

"It won't come back up!"

'The four scariest words in the English language.'

Man about to hammer nail into wall as neighbour listens.

"I just couldn't take all that clanking any more."

'You'd thing that the least he would do while we're gone is to paint the place!'

A squirrel is irritated by its upstairs neighbors.