Snoring Humorist Gifts

'I don't think Rodrigo will be very happy when you tell him his 'Zzzz's' are well above the legal safety decibal levels!'

Hoodie Hang-out

'So, ten thousand pounds could be yours if you call in and answer this question...Why the hell aren't you in bed?!'

"It's only insomnia if there's nothing good on."

"Aaaaa....Chooo!"

Wide-awake.

"Look, if it wasn’t me and it wasn’t you, who was doing all the snoring?!"

Overnight Programming

'Peace is at hand! - I just signed the Bagpipe Limitation Treaty!'

'I hate to admit it, but I counted sheep all night.'

"Excuse me, would you mind taking your portable zombie game to another carriage?"

'Peel is sleeping badly.' - 'He seems very bright.' - 'Yes.' - 'Bright babies often sleep badly.' - 'Waaaaah!' - 'I want a thick baby.' - 'Zzzzzzz'

"When it comes to blowing leaves around uselessly and creating an insane amount of noise, this model can't be beat."

'Give me one of your lectures, Dad - I can't sleep!'

Sneezing duck.

"Don't be alarmed, I couldn't sleep: I'm just here to count you. . ."

"Decaf... I distinctly ordered DECAF."

'Gesundheit!'

"I didn't spend $5.6 million on this place to get involved with the damn sunsets over New Jersey."

"Excellent, but not fit for a king."

"Crawford's hard at work, I see!"

"After tonight you're going to need a prescription."

"Just go already!" "One could scarcely desire more delightful conditions for a nocturnal ramble..."

"Gesundheit!"

Things my cat says at 3 am

"Her master might be rich enough to pay for a French coiffeur, but she barks at the moon just like an ordinary mongrel."

Your fingers' worst nightmares

'Was it the non-flying dream again?'

'The bloke from downstairs has come to complain about the noise.'

Russian snorkelling club.

"Your book is selling well in drug stores, right next to the sleeping pills."

"They were great snorers."