Noise Pollution Humorist Gifts

"When it comes to blowing leaves around uselessly and creating an insane amount of noise, this model can't be beat."

Hoodie Hang-out

Striving to reduce our dependence on fossil fuels, scientists attempt to harness the energy of a toddler's tantrum.

'To help save the environment, I've replaced all of our lightbulbs with compact fluorescents. Now I'm running the old ones over to the landfill...'

'It's an extinction notice.'

'I got tired of wet feet all the time.'

"Of course it's not clean energy -- We don't have clean ANYTHING!"

How life on Earth really got its start.

"Can I get this to go in an organic, locally recycled, eco-friendly doggie bag?"

"We're standing in forever chemicals."

"The Nominees"

'I don't give advice. I'm only up here because it's safer.'

Recycling bottle bank.

Vulture proclaims its love for highways.

'...and this is the water garden...'

"I pose as a concerned citizen, but honestly I wouldn't miss the golden marmoset if it did become extinct."

"I've had a sore throat ever since we moved near the airport!"

Climate Conference. I'm glad you enjoyed my speech, but please don't call it the "high-water mark."

"We have to get out of here! They're saying boil ALL water!"

Have our P.R. people do a report on the beneficial effects of cyanide on river life.

Another hot flash?

This is where Brent council sends you

'My father carried this sign before me, as did his father before him.'

'It's self cleaning, and runs on natural gas.'

"This is a terrible table!"

'I'd say that our transport policy couldn't get any greener'

"Venice! What will climate change think of next?"

"There - now we're environmentally responsible."

New uses for excess coal

"Rising sea levels."

Granny's 100% All Natural Radioactive Waste

'There! another batch of clean coal.'

"Will this global warming mean we'll have longer summer vacations?"

Perfect solution. Free street lighting, and we sell the surplus to the national grid.

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