Complaint Gifts

"I heard you are charging a monthly fee for using your debit card, and I'm here to complain!"

"Why won't you teach us how to handle complaints?"

Flyfishing for dummies.

"Whine and cheezed party."

Man from refuse department says: 'We'll send you a new wheelie bin, Mrs Trubshaw, there's really no need to 'orchestrate a mass Twitter campaign'.'

"What a day. I almost lost my smug look of detached superiority."

'A word of advice, the squeaky wheel gets the totally organic, 0 trans-fat, soy-based lubricant.'

Complaints Desk

'Typical, I hadn't finished complaining about the rain...'

Meeting at the Grumpy Old Men's Pub.

"See? I told you my fish was undercooked!"

"You gave me the wrong drink. I demand a total refund!!" "OK. Where's the drink?" "What do you mean? I drank it. It wasn't till I was done that I realized it was the wrong drink. The right drink leaves a different aftertaste." "You can't finish the drink and then ask for a refund. That's not how it works." "You didn't tell me that before I paid for the wrong drink. So that's on you." "That's not how it works!"

"I said FETCH! Not KVETCH!"

"Frankly, I can't really understand why my husband would be referred to as a "Domestic Cat": he does nothing around the house..."

"Is it always so cloudy?"

'I don't like to complain, Evelyn, but aren't these family reunions getting out of hand?'

'This decaf's lousy.'

"In what way do you feel you have been unfairly treated?"

Bob's whine cellar.

"You say that life is suffering, but isn't it also complaining?"

Awkward customers.

'What the hell good are new federal regulations if they don't have teeth?'

"True, the fly is not in my soup. But it took one taste of my soup and dropped dead."

'To be honest, you're the only one who sometimes bothers to hear my complaints.'

"How am I supposed to know what I want to complain about before you've even said anything?"

Medical Bracelet

Ryanair refunds

"You have to follow the guidance on dealing with complaints precisely or else the shredder gets blocked."

"To be perfectly honest, Tarquin, I get fed up listening to your stories about 'the good old days'."

'Aren't you done yet? This is taking forever! I should have went somewhere else!...'

"I think I speak for all of us."

"One more remark like that, lady, and you'll never get to see this show."

'The food's lousy! The water's too cold! The pond needs cleaning! You should feed us more often!'

'And I don't appreciate being left on hold,with Motorhead's 'The ace of spades'!'

But the brochures says breakfast in bed! Yes, only if you carry your bed down to the dining room!