Complaining Gifts

Sign at complaints booth: 'Ran out of excuses'

"Please stay on the line. All of our customer-service representatives are kidding around and throwing paper airplanes at each other."

Bob's whine cellar.

'Aren't you done yet? This is taking forever! I should have went somewhere else!...'

'For the wrong department: Press one. . . for a patronizing excuse: Press two. . .'

"'C-minus'? -- I'd like to speak to your supervisor!"

"One more remark like that, lady, and you'll never get to see this show."

'I said... oh, forget it!'

"It won't catch fish."

"This summer, we decided to stay home and complain."

Complaints Department

'The alarm didn't go off, my car wouldn't start, missed the bus, my back's aching, haven't had a raise in two years ...'

Moaning makes you a magnet for other moaners..

'What the hell good are new federal regulations if they don't have teeth?'

'I don't have a bad attitude! I can't help it if everything sucks!'

'Something to sustain Sir's middle of the road rage.'

"So, after days of moaning about the heat, you can now moan about the torrential rain."

'Typical, I hadn't finished complaining about the rain...'

'Sure I had the world on a string, sittin' on a rainbow, but my finger turned blue and my hemorrhoids were killing me!'

'Where do I go to complain about you?'

But the brochures says breakfast in bed! Yes, only if you carry your bed down to the dining room!

Meeting at the Grumpy Old Men's Pub.

"I quite agree - the weather has been pretty dreadful lately."

"What a day. I almost lost my smug look of detached superiority."

"I'm here to complain about the noise."

"I'm sorry...I need to speak with someone with a little authority around here."

"I'd like to speak with the weatherman who predicted sunny skies for today!"

"Frankly, I can't really understand why my husband would be referred to as a "Domestic Cat": he does nothing around the house..."

"...and another thing, I want to complain that you're a mannequin!"

"The flat I rented from you is a pig-sty!"

"To be perfectly honest, Tarquin, I get fed up listening to your stories about 'the good old days'."

"In what way do you feel you have been unfairly treated?"

Bill's typical response to his monthly cable TV invoice.

Ryanair refunds

"I can't wait to complain about the heat again."