Professional Complainer Gifts

Complaints and Gratitude.

Complaints - "It's raining!"

Complaint Department worker. 'Gosh, I'm good at this job!'

Bad news

'Almost everything I have hurts and what doesn't hurt doesn't work!'

"Whine and cheezed party."

#notblessed

"What a day. I almost lost my smug look of detached superiority."

"I finally have an ailment that isn't so bad that I'm worried, but bad enough for me to complain about constantly"

Meeting at the Grumpy Old Men's Pub.

'Typical, I hadn't finished complaining about the rain...'

Welcome to Yosemite, Hell on Earth!

'I don't like to complain, Evelyn, but aren't these family reunions getting out of hand?'

"Is it always so cloudy?"

"Frankly, I can't really understand why my husband would be referred to as a "Domestic Cat": he does nothing around the house..."

"In what way do you feel you have been unfairly treated?"

'I thought I'd seen everything, and then my wife came up with tofu fajitas.'

'This decaf's lousy.'

Bob's whine cellar.

"I don't like it already."

"We only shop brick and mortar because my husband likes to be disgruntled face-to-face when returning things."

'To be honest, you're the only one who sometimes bothers to hear my complaints.'

Ryanair refunds

"True, the fly is not in my soup. But it took one taste of my soup and dropped dead."

"To be perfectly honest, Tarquin, I get fed up listening to your stories about 'the good old days'."

'What the hell good are new federal regulations if they don't have teeth?'

Medical Bracelet

'Aren't you done yet? This is taking forever! I should have went somewhere else!...'

Input (not yours) and Output (only mine).

"One more remark like that, lady, and you'll never get to see this show."

"I know I should Fuggedaboutit but I can't."

"Where does it hurt?"

'Sure I had the world on a string, sittin' on a rainbow, but my finger turned blue and my hemorrhoids were killing me!'

"I want to complain about how long I've had to queue to make my complaint."

But the brochures says breakfast in bed! Yes, only if you carry your bed down to the dining room!