Professional Complainer Pillows

Complaints and Gratitude.

Complaints - "It's raining!"

Complaint Department worker. 'Gosh, I'm good at this job!'

Bad news

'Almost everything I have hurts and what doesn't hurt doesn't work!'

"Whine and cheezed party."

"What a day. I almost lost my smug look of detached superiority."

#notblessed

"I finally have an ailment that isn't so bad that I'm worried, but bad enough for me to complain about constantly"

Meeting at the Grumpy Old Men's Pub.

'Typical, I hadn't finished complaining about the rain...'

Welcome to Yosemite, Hell on Earth!

'I don't like to complain, Evelyn, but aren't these family reunions getting out of hand?'

"Is it always so cloudy?"

"Frankly, I can't really understand why my husband would be referred to as a "Domestic Cat": he does nothing around the house..."

"In what way do you feel you have been unfairly treated?"

'This decaf's lousy.'

'I thought I'd seen everything, and then my wife came up with tofu fajitas.'

Bob's whine cellar.

"We only shop brick and mortar because my husband likes to be disgruntled face-to-face when returning things."

"I don't like it already."

"To be perfectly honest, Tarquin, I get fed up listening to your stories about 'the good old days'."

'What the hell good are new federal regulations if they don't have teeth?'

"True, the fly is not in my soup. But it took one taste of my soup and dropped dead."

'To be honest, you're the only one who sometimes bothers to hear my complaints.'

Medical Bracelet

'Aren't you done yet? This is taking forever! I should have went somewhere else!...'

Input (not yours) and Output (only mine).

"One more remark like that, lady, and you'll never get to see this show."

"I wish we had a diary room - someone who would listen to me."

But the brochures says breakfast in bed! Yes, only if you carry your bed down to the dining room!

'I need to work a different shift.'

"I want to complain about how long I've had to queue to make my complaint."

"Waiter, there's a greenfly in my soup!"

"I know I should Fuggedaboutit but I can't."