Corporate Complainer Pillows

Input (not yours) and Output (only mine).

Private firms to run 30 of practices by 2010

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

"They want to put up a new cell tower in our neighbourhood?! We don't need more of those radio emission eyesores here! I'm gonna complain... ...as soon as I have better signal strength."

'Almost everything I have hurts and what doesn't hurt doesn't work!'

I Want to be a Drone President

Only two months since school started. How long do you get off for summer break, Rudy? Oh, months and months. Just to kick back, sleep in late, have a great time with zero responsibility. Waaaa. Introduction to sarcasm. And I get tons of recess.

#notblessed

'Good - we're finally all on the same rampage.'

"I finally have an ailment that isn't so bad that I'm worried, but bad enough for me to complain about constantly"

Corporate person hood!

'Oh come on, we all have our crosses to bear.'

We should promote many of our staff to management positions...

Welcome to Yosemite, Hell on Earth!

'I thought I'd seen everything, and then my wife came up with tofu fajitas.'

"We only shop brick and mortar because my husband likes to be disgruntled face-to-face when returning things."

"I don't like it already."

"A motion to democratize the board has been made and quashed."

Virtue Signaling for Organizations Messaging to Black Lives Matter

"True, the fly is not in my soup. But it took one taste of my soup and dropped dead."

Lining our pockets since 1987.

"One more remark like that, lady, and you'll never get to see this show."

"Oh, the doctor told you not to work so hard, did he?... And does the doctor pay your salary?!"

"Generics of generics -- that's the way we'll go."

"The price of oil is dropping...so...why has your gas gone up?!"

'I need to work a different shift.'

No to Greed

"...I think this is because we forgot to hire some workers."

'Sure I had the world on a string, sittin' on a rainbow, but my finger turned blue and my hemorrhoids were killing me!'

"Where does it hurt?"

"Waiter, there's a greenfly in my soup!"

'... And I don't like the way you talk about corporate greed as though it's a bad thing!'

Time, temperature, and corporate ethics readings.

"Want to bitch for one more lap?"