Pro-level Complainer Pillows

'I'll tell you what life's all about...'

'Almost everything I have hurts and what doesn't hurt doesn't work!'

#notblessed

"I finally have an ailment that isn't so bad that I'm worried, but bad enough for me to complain about constantly"

'Typical, I hadn't finished complaining about the rain...'

Welcome to Yosemite, Hell on Earth!

'I thought I'd seen everything, and then my wife came up with tofu fajitas.'

"We only shop brick and mortar because my husband likes to be disgruntled face-to-face when returning things."

"I don't like it already."

"True, the fly is not in my soup. But it took one taste of my soup and dropped dead."

"One more remark like that, lady, and you'll never get to see this show."

Input (not yours) and Output (only mine).

'Sure I had the world on a string, sittin' on a rainbow, but my finger turned blue and my hemorrhoids were killing me!'

"Where does it hurt?"

"Waiter, there's a greenfly in my soup!"

"'C-minus'? -- I'd like to speak to your supervisor!"

STRIP Hambone: Techinical support in layman's terms #2

"Want to bitch for one more lap?"

'I hope you find something that's worth complaining to my friends about.'

Complaint Department worker. 'Gosh, I'm good at this job!'

'What are you annoyed about now?'

'Hi, I'm from Complainers Anonymous. Can I see the manager?'

"Don't worry about me. I can be unhappy just about anywhere."

'You know, this work is misery, but I really like the people I work with.'

Complaints and Gratitude.

'I'm afraid your complaining is chronic.' - 'I want a second opinion!!'

'You can contact us 3 ways: an email that will be trashed, a fax that will be buried, and a letter which will be lost.'

'The alarm didn't go off, my car wouldn't start, missed the bus, my back's aching, haven't had a raise in two years ...'

'Why is it that every time I see you all you ever do is complain?'

'I'm just going to our front gate for a chunner!'

"Do you mind? That’s really annoying."

"He's head over heels, worships the ground I walk on – kind of annoying."

"Nothing follows anymore, have you noticed?"

"Too sunny for you. Too dry. Whatever next?"

"Well, at least he died doing what he loved."