Acomplaining Pillows

'I'll tell you what life's all about...'

'Almost everything I have hurts and what doesn't hurt doesn't work!'

"Whine and cheezed party."

"What a day. I almost lost my smug look of detached superiority."

"I finally have an ailment that isn't so bad that I'm worried, but bad enough for me to complain about constantly"

'Typical, I hadn't finished complaining about the rain...'

Meeting at the Grumpy Old Men's Pub.

Welcome to Yosemite, Hell on Earth!

"Frankly, I can't really understand why my husband would be referred to as a "Domestic Cat": he does nothing around the house..."

'I don't like to complain, Evelyn, but aren't these family reunions getting out of hand?'

"In what way do you feel you have been unfairly treated?"

'This decaf's lousy.'

"Is it always so cloudy?"

Bob's whine cellar.

"To be perfectly honest, Tarquin, I get fed up listening to your stories about 'the good old days'."

Medical Bracelet

'To be honest, you're the only one who sometimes bothers to hear my complaints.'

'What the hell good are new federal regulations if they don't have teeth?'

"True, the fly is not in my soup. But it took one taste of my soup and dropped dead."

'Aren't you done yet? This is taking forever! I should have went somewhere else!...'

"One more remark like that, lady, and you'll never get to see this show."

'And I don't appreciate being left on hold,with Motorhead's 'The ace of spades'!'

"I heard you are charging a monthly fee for using your debit card, and I'm here to complain!"

"Waiter, there's a greenfly in my soup!"

'I'm just going to our front gate for a chunner!'

'I need to work a different shift.'

"I want to complain about how long I've had to queue to make my complaint."

But the brochures says breakfast in bed! Yes, only if you carry your bed down to the dining room!

'Sure I had the world on a string, sittin' on a rainbow, but my finger turned blue and my hemorrhoids were killing me!'

"I wish we had a diary room - someone who would listen to me."

"I know I should Fuggedaboutit but I can't."

"Where does it hurt?"