News Complainer Pillows

'Same old rubbish every day! When are they going to give us something interesting to read with our cornflakes?'

"They want to put up a new cell tower in our neighbourhood?! We don't need more of those radio emission eyesores here! I'm gonna complain... ...as soon as I have better signal strength."

'Almost everything I have hurts and what doesn't hurt doesn't work!'

"Whine and cheezed party."

"What a day. I almost lost my smug look of detached superiority."

"I finally have an ailment that isn't so bad that I'm worried, but bad enough for me to complain about constantly"

'Typical, I hadn't finished complaining about the rain...'

Meeting at the Grumpy Old Men's Pub.

Welcome to Yosemite, Hell on Earth!

'Not the bloody batteries again.'

'I don't like to complain, Evelyn, but aren't these family reunions getting out of hand?'

'I thought I'd seen everything, and then my wife came up with tofu fajitas.'

"Is it always so cloudy?"

"In what way do you feel you have been unfairly treated?"

'This decaf's lousy.'

"Frankly, I can't really understand why my husband would be referred to as a "Domestic Cat": he does nothing around the house..."

Bob's whine cellar.

"We only shop brick and mortar because my husband likes to be disgruntled face-to-face when returning things."

"True, the fly is not in my soup. But it took one taste of my soup and dropped dead."

Medical Bracelet

"To be perfectly honest, Tarquin, I get fed up listening to your stories about 'the good old days'."

'What the hell good are new federal regulations if they don't have teeth?'

'To be honest, you're the only one who sometimes bothers to hear my complaints.'

"I think I speak for all of us."

'Aren't you done yet? This is taking forever! I should have went somewhere else!...'

"One more remark like that, lady, and you'll never get to see this show."

Input (not yours) and Output (only mine).

"I know I should Fuggedaboutit but I can't."

"Where does it hurt?"

"I want to complain about how long I've had to queue to make my complaint."

'Sure I had the world on a string, sittin' on a rainbow, but my finger turned blue and my hemorrhoids were killing me!'

'I'm just going to our front gate for a chunner!'

"Waiter, there's a greenfly in my soup!"

"I wish we had a diary room - someone who would listen to me."