Whining Gifts

Moan Pig.

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

'I hear you got your increase.' - 'Yes, that proves my theory, if you whine enough, you get anything you want.'

"Whine and cheezed party."

"What a day. I almost lost my smug look of detached superiority."

"I finally have an ailment that isn't so bad that I'm worried, but bad enough for me to complain about constantly"

Meeting at the Grumpy Old Men's Pub.

'Typical, I hadn't finished complaining about the rain...'

'I don't like to complain, Evelyn, but aren't these family reunions getting out of hand?'

'This decaf's lousy.'

"Frankly, I can't really understand why my husband would be referred to as a "Domestic Cat": he does nothing around the house..."

"In what way do you feel you have been unfairly treated?"

"Is it always so cloudy?"

Bob's whine cellar.

"It's my new theory of human evolution. Survival of the Whiniest."

"To be perfectly honest, Tarquin, I get fed up listening to your stories about 'the good old days'."

'To be honest, you're the only one who sometimes bothers to hear my complaints.'

Ryanair refunds

"Great! Now I'm torn between whether to post rants on X or Meta."

'What the hell good are new federal regulations if they don't have teeth?'

Medical Bracelet

'Aren't you done yet? This is taking forever! I should have went somewhere else!...'

"One more remark like that, lady, and you'll never get to see this show."

'Before we begin may I emit a prolonged rant about my work week?

'He's switched from tweeting on Twitter to growling on a new social media site called Growler. Suits him better.'

"Of course I hear it when you say 'come'. I just choose to ignore it."

But the brochures says breakfast in bed! Yes, only if you carry your bed down to the dining room!

'I'm just going to our front gate for a chunner!'

"I want to complain about how long I've had to queue to make my complaint."

"I wish we had a diary room - someone who would listen to me."

"When you have to shovel your driveway, stupid weather... When you've paid someone to shovel your driveway, stupid weather..."

"I know I should Fuggedaboutit but I can't."

'Sure I had the world on a string, sittin' on a rainbow, but my finger turned blue and my hemorrhoids were killing me!'

Nature Magnified

"Please stay on the line. All of our customer-service representatives are kidding around and throwing paper airplanes at each other."