Whining Aficionado Gifts

"But a deep sense of grievance and indignation IS my Happy Place."

"What are you looking at, four eyes?"

'If God had meant us to fly, he'd give us more leg room.'

"I'm sorry, Arthur. I've decided to secede from our marriage."

'... Further to our telephone conversation of the 3rd, my fax of the 11th, my letters of the 16th, 23rd and 28th, my emails of....'

'You dirty, snivelling, low down, arrogant son of a gin-swilling kleptomaniac.'

Continental Breakfast...$2.99: 'What continent is THIS supposed to represent?'

"Of course I'm sorry for whatever it is I'm supposed to have done."

'Ah, it seems that I've completely misjudged the mood of the evening.'

In a stock brokers, the lift buttons for up and down have bulls and bears on them.

"Sorry I'm late, I've brought cappuccinos for everyone."

"I think it is most admirable," said Alice, "that you gave up a thriving law practice to be with this lovely child."

Airline concerns.

"It's my new theory of human evolution. Survival of the Whiniest."

"A pox on your house red."

"Just eat your alphabet soup Harold."

'If you're not sorry then I'm not sorry. . .but if you're sorry then I'm sorry.'

Limbo services: 'what gives...this line hasn't moved for hours!'

'Now we'll try some word association.', 'Fling dorp snoogle!'

'Me' Weekly

'If it's any consolation, I'm sorry I blew my top this morning.'

Rail service excuses: Points failure.

It's "mea culpa," Brother Ernest, not "my bad."

I made fun of your age the other day. I'd like to apologize. That's odd. Does the blade of grass apologize to the lawnmower? Does the bug apologize to the windshield? Does the ant apologize to the boot? Those are some interesting analogies. Did they make more sense back in the middle ages when you first came up with them? I sense a boot coming

"Sorry I didn't return your calls of earlier today."

"I was at home all day yesterday so when do I want you to re-deliver? Yesterday!"

'No - I demand to speak to your REAL manager!'

"On Monday, they will introduce a new office layout and you'll be near Judy, who isn't good at sharing her charger. Then you'll finish up a report on whether your client's edgy new marketing tactics have been resonating with the 18-34 demographic. The results will be inconclusive and your boss will say, 'Jared, there'll always be another Instagram-based influence strategy to review,' but she also takes a while to approve your annual leave request and you will suspect that the two are related."

Whining about mask wearing

"I'm trying to decide between a cocktail with a cute name and one that's blatantly sexual."

"Let me guess - stout and bitter?"

'Apology accepted! Good day!'

"Ha ha. Stop by and say hello to your mother. Ha ha, that's a good one!"

'Can he call you back? He's rehearsing his apology!'

'Molly here would like your immediate apology for the substandard service and wilty lettuce on her BLT!'