Whine Aficionado Gifts

Wine glass face.

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

"What are you looking at, four eyes?"

"Oh, look- French! Let's try it."

"Keep your money, sir. I'm on strike!"

"It was a lot more satisfying before 'catch and release.'"

"...until death do you a favor."

"Where do you see yourself in 20 to 25 years?"

The Snarky District

"Bill is in charge of our Ethics Department."

'I hear you got your increase.' - 'Yes, that proves my theory, if you whine enough, you get anything you want.'

"Gesundheit!"

Sales - "Any other suggestion besides getting a bigger chart?"

Dog FM. (Man blowing dog whistle into radio microphone).

"No more cartooning, I'm afraid. You've got an irony deficiency."

Holiday cottage

'My firm has scrutinised your budget and determined you could save a fortune by sacking us...that'll be £300,000 please!'

"And do you, Stephanie, promise to love, honor and 'obey'?

'If you'll excuse me, my car is on fire.'

"Less roman, more clef."

TV Chef Cooking Range

"You're afraid of what?"

'Time and tide wait for no woman..'

'I was in the right place at the right time once, and then I realized it wasn't ME.'

"Your sense of humor has gone from dry to arid. . ."

"Blowing the whistle is perfect for a sports bar to let its patrons know that Happy Hour is over."

Performance reviews in Hell.

Counsel's Opinion.

"On my taxes, I claimed my inner child as a dependent."

"We should probably talk about the elephant in the Roomba."

I've been scouting new locations for the strip. Great. We can certainly use some. Have you found anything exciting so far? Yes. A bench on the other side of the park. It has a trash can in the background.

Continental Breakfast...$2.99: 'What continent is THIS supposed to represent?'

Tips for cabinet ministers: Want to keep your limo? Add black curtains and pretend it's a hearse!

Sewee-Cide.

"Repent! The Venga bus is coming!"