Whine Connoisseur Gifts

"It's my new theory of human evolution. Survival of the Whiniest."

'If this is tea, I'll have a coffee. If it's a coffee, I'll have a tea!'

'The sunglasses idea would have worked if you hadn't started snoring.'

"War is hell and so is this soup."

'If God had meant us to fly, he'd give us more leg room.'

Man with wine glass face looks unhappy.

Atlas with the earth, says: 'So then I thought, Why not just roll the damn thing?'

'I wanted this on the rocks.'

In, Out, Complain.

'She got all the soap opera channels at a discount -- it's some kind of 'frequent cryer' program.'

'Someday we'll look back on this and think, ‘Why the hell didn't we sue?' '

'A word of advice, the squeaky wheel gets the totally organic, 0 trans-fat, soy-based lubricant.'

Complaints departement for men and women.

S**t Threw a Goose

"Waiter, there's a hair in my soup!"

Man frozen in portrait pose.

'... Further to our telephone conversation of the 3rd, my fax of the 11th, my letters of the 16th, 23rd and 28th, my emails of....'

Moliere

Complaints clerk to consumer: A hair in your TV dinner? Maybe it belongs to a celebrity!

Charles Dickens.

Bleak House

'I wish you would come to me first with your grievances, instead of going directly to the United Nations Committee on Human Rights.'

'...and to commemorate 20 loyal years to the company, this gold plated sundial.'

Deadwood 25 miles

Moanathon.

'I hate them too. Listen, would you like to go out sometime? Dinner maybe? We could complain about the service.'

Wine, Whine. Unwind.

"My left buttock is noticeable larger than my right and my dog is missing his hind legs."

'To be honest, you're the only one who sometimes bothers to hear my complaints.'

The 'I'm Almost Finished With War And Peace' Bookmark

'How long do I have to sit like this? My neck is stiff, my arms ache. I've got pins and needles...'