Wit Connoisseur Gifts

On Time

Hitting The Bottle

"Oh, I like coming to the dentists. It's the only place where people actually ask me to spit!"

Don't swallow. I've lost a contact.

"To paraprase Nietzsche, there is no pleasure with out pain au chocolat."

"Stop the drama. Take that wig off and wait 'till spring like everyone else."

'Don't fall for all that...you should see him first thing in the morning.'

Cat Burglar

"As an avid red wine drinker, I can say, with certainty, that the notion that drinking clarity impares claret is false!"

'HA Ha! One good idea doesn't make a genius!'

Wordplay: In The Bag.

Totalitarian Humour

"So what makes you think you're the man for the job?"

Generic Store: Sign in Window

Atlas with the earth, says: 'So then I thought, Why not just roll the damn thing?'

Clancy Strip: Money and Beer

"Tell me more about your fear of going bald."

Lot for people who don't know how to park.

Voltaire

Man frozen in portrait pose.

'Time and tide wait for no woman..'

"Your sense of humor has gone from dry to arid. . ."

'This year, Sire, I've created a socko narrative of scatological raillery and rollicking nihilism which ends with a sexy justification for third quarter losses.'

Stephen Fry.

Counsel's Opinion.

Moliere

Charles Dickens.

Bleak House

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

'...and to commemorate 20 loyal years to the company, this gold plated sundial.'

"By the time we can marry in all fifty states, we'll probably be divorced."

Our Mission: "Who are we trying to kid? It's just one day at a time around here!"

'How can you stand to listen to dozens of crazy people and stay sane?' - 'Who listens?.'

"Stimulating this area of the brain will enable the patient to think of all the clever things he wished he had said."