Wit Connoisseur Gifts

With the brain being next to the ears, Ernie's started dwearing plugs --- He's heard "intelligence leaks" have been a big problem recently.

On Time

Hitting The Bottle

"Oh, I like coming to the dentists. It's the only place where people actually ask me to spit!"

Don't swallow. I've lost a contact.

"To paraprase Nietzsche, there is no pleasure with out pain au chocolat."

"Stop the drama. Take that wig off and wait 'till spring like everyone else."

'HA Ha! One good idea doesn't make a genius!'

'Don't fall for all that...you should see him first thing in the morning.'

"As an avid red wine drinker, I can say, with certainty, that the notion that drinking clarity impares claret is false!"

Wordplay: In The Bag.

Cat Burglar

Clancy Strip: Money and Beer

Totalitarian Humour

Atlas with the earth, says: 'So then I thought, Why not just roll the damn thing?'

"So what makes you think you're the man for the job?"

"Tell me more about your fear of going bald."

Generic Store: Sign in Window

Voltaire

Lot for people who don't know how to park.

"Your sense of humor has gone from dry to arid. . ."

Man frozen in portrait pose.

'Time and tide wait for no woman..'

Platitudes for the hopelessly realistic. When life gives you lemons, get a gift receipt.

'This year, Sire, I've created a socko narrative of scatological raillery and rollicking nihilism which ends with a sexy justification for third quarter losses.'

Stephen Fry.

Counsel's Opinion.

Moliere

Oscar Wilde

C Day Lewis.

Charles Dickens.

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

Bleak House

Our Mission: "Who are we trying to kid? It's just one day at a time around here!"

"By the time we can marry in all fifty states, we'll probably be divorced."