Wit Enthusiasts Gifts

"It would be nice if we had marriage equality within our marriage."

'HA Ha! One good idea doesn't make a genius!'

Bed Spread

Watering Can

"Oh, great - They changed the Meaning of Life again."

Don't swallow. I've lost a contact.

"Stop the drama. Take that wig off and wait 'till spring like everyone else."

"To paraprase Nietzsche, there is no pleasure with out pain au chocolat."

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

Cat Burglar

Czarcasm

Wordplay: In The Bag.

'Don't fall for all that...you should see him first thing in the morning.'

"As an avid red wine drinker, I can say, with certainty, that the notion that drinking clarity impares claret is false!"

"Tell me more about your fear of going bald."

Generic Store: Sign in Window

"So what makes you think you're the man for the job?"

Clancy Strip: Money and Beer

"Good evening several times and welcome to QI. As usual I'll be asking a series of quite interesting questions and some comedians will be doing a lot of knob and fart gags. It's a winning formula!" "Don't knock it. No one likes knockers!" "Speak for yourself!" "Was that an entendre? I'll have a double." "Mine's a large one!"

Voltaire

Loopholes

Lot for people who don't know how to park.

'Time and tide wait for no woman..'

Gold versus Knowledge

Platitudes for the hopelessly realistic. When life gives you lemons, get a gift receipt.

"Your sense of humor has gone from dry to arid. . ."

Stephen Fry.

'Let me remind you that any advice you receive is protected by copyright and I retain all rights therein.'

Counsel's Opinion.

Oscar Wilde

"You make a great point."

The Book of 'Everything You Need To Know.'

"By the time we can marry in all fifty states, we'll probably be divorced."

Frank and Ernest's Cerebral Questions. Today's question is would an "elbowhead" be smarter or dumber than a "knucklehead"? (Published originally on October 12, 2015.)

"Getting a little thin on top and dull below, eh Pop?"