Whine Aficionado Pillows

Wine glass face.

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

"What are you looking at, four eyes?"

"Oh, look- French! Let's try it."

The Snarky District

"Keep your money, sir. I'm on strike!"

"Where do you see yourself in 20 to 25 years?"

"...until death do you a favor."

"It was a lot more satisfying before 'catch and release.'"

"Bill is in charge of our Ethics Department."

"Gesundheit!"

'I hear you got your increase.' - 'Yes, that proves my theory, if you whine enough, you get anything you want.'

Sales - "Any other suggestion besides getting a bigger chart?"

Dog FM. (Man blowing dog whistle into radio microphone).

Holiday cottage

"No more cartooning, I'm afraid. You've got an irony deficiency."

'My firm has scrutinised your budget and determined you could save a fortune by sacking us...that'll be £300,000 please!'

'If you'll excuse me, my car is on fire.'

"And do you, Stephanie, promise to love, honor and 'obey'?

"Your sense of humor has gone from dry to arid. . ."

TV Chef Cooking Range

"Blowing the whistle is perfect for a sports bar to let its patrons know that Happy Hour is over."

"Less roman, more clef."

'I was in the right place at the right time once, and then I realized it wasn't ME.'

"You're afraid of what?"

'Time and tide wait for no woman..'

Counsel's Opinion.

Turkey survivability - 'It's all in being able to put the old fork down and say no.'

'You dirty, snivelling, low down, arrogant son of a gin-swilling kleptomaniac.'

"Repent! The Venga bus is coming!"

"We should probably talk about the elephant in the Roomba."

Tips for cabinet ministers: Want to keep your limo? Add black curtains and pretend it's a hearse!

Continental Breakfast...$2.99: 'What continent is THIS supposed to represent?'

Sewee-Cide.