Customer Frustration Humorist Gifts

'You have reached the technical assistance hotline. We are experiencing technical difficulties. Please call back later.'

Flyfishing for dummies.

Grim Reaper rowing a boat full of dead souls to the afterlife; a tip jar sits on the side of the boat.

"And I get a really, really tall straw?"

"Not more sleeve alterations?!"

"Can I have another free biscuit for my dog?" "Sure." "Can you warm this one up? Maybe sprinkle some cinnamon and sugar on it, and maybe make it three biscuits?" "You sure this is for your dog?" "Can you also sprinkle a little turkey on it?"

'Oh, hello Dave. Would you like that in untraceable, used notes, like last time?'

"Where's my order!? This service is terrible! That stuff will be cold by the time it gets here!! What's the hold-up!?!"

"I like Casual Dining, but this is too casual. I ordered spaghetti!"

If you don't give me a free hot chocolate, you're probably not a patriot. #$%* Fox News.

'We'll get our food....eventually.'

Waiter' You betta stop that food fight, you SILLY fools! Here comes the Maitre D' !'

'Your call may be monitored to give us a few good laughs.'

'... Further to our telephone conversation of the 3rd, my fax of the 11th, my letters of the 16th, 23rd and 28th, my emails of....'

"This new system is too complex...pass it on."

'Remember Jones, the customer is always right, no matter how stupid and ignorant he may be.'

'Would you like a room on the sunny side, sir? Haha, just kidding!'

Music Quiz

"Waiter!"

"I'd like to leave a wake up call for, . ... OHH ..., April."

"I hope you're not expecting a tip."

"If you can read this, tell me if I need to hike up my pants."

'Tellers laughing ' 'Can I have my statement?'

'We found your luggage! It went to Buffalo!'

'You are through to 24/7 support...our helpline times are between 8am and 7pm.'

"If your internet doesn't work, please check our online help chat...if your internet doesn't work..."

"Your prayers may be recorded for quality and training purposes and will be answered by the next available deity."

"What's this I hear about you opening an account at another bank?"

"But the good news is that if you get a life threatening illness...then you'd get a decent payout."

"We've had to update our restaurant's motto."

"What makes you think you can patronize me?"

'A table near a waiter please.'

'I can't afford those prices so would you call me when France goes broke and devalues its currency?'

'For kicking our salesman down the stairs, we take 10 euros extra charge, sir!'

'What's wrong with me today? I actually served a customer...'