Humorist Interested In Customer Service Gifts

"Well, I have arranged the pick-up of your shipment, sir. Do you already want to raise the complaint about the miscarriage, sir?"

Grim Reaper rowing a boat full of dead souls to the afterlife; a tip jar sits on the side of the boat.

"And I get a really, really tall straw?"

'Your call may be monitored to give us a few good laughs.'

Waiter' You betta stop that food fight, you SILLY fools! Here comes the Maitre D' !'

"I like Casual Dining, but this is too casual. I ordered spaghetti!"

'We'll get our food....eventually.'

"Not more sleeve alterations?!"

"Can I have another free biscuit for my dog?" "Sure." "Can you warm this one up? Maybe sprinkle some cinnamon and sugar on it, and maybe make it three biscuits?" "You sure this is for your dog?" "Can you also sprinkle a little turkey on it?"

'Oh, hello Dave. Would you like that in untraceable, used notes, like last time?'

"Where's my order!? This service is terrible! That stuff will be cold by the time it gets here!! What's the hold-up!?!"

'Remember Jones, the customer is always right, no matter how stupid and ignorant he may be.'

"While you were on vacation, Zooker, a motion was made and seconded to saw five and a half inches off your chair legs."

"Waiter!"

'Would you like a room on the sunny side, sir? Haha, just kidding!'

"I'd like to leave a wake up call for, . ... OHH ..., April."

"I hope you're not expecting a tip."

"I must be getting on tech-support's nerves, because they now answer by saying, WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT NOW?!"

"My records show we sent your bonus. Have you looked on your roof?"

'We found your luggage! It went to Buffalo!'

'Tellers laughing ' 'Can I have my statement?'

'You are through to 24/7 support...our helpline times are between 8am and 7pm.'

"If your internet doesn't work, please check our online help chat...if your internet doesn't work..."

'We operate on the point system here. When you see something go wrong, point at whoever you think is to blame.'

"What makes you think you can patronize me?"

"We've had to update our restaurant's motto."

"What's this I hear about you opening an account at another bank?"

"But the good news is that if you get a life threatening illness...then you'd get a decent payout."

"Your prayers may be recorded for quality and training purposes and will be answered by the next available deity."

'A table near a waiter please.'

"I hope they offer same day service."

'For kicking our salesman down the stairs, we take 10 euros extra charge, sir!'

'What's wrong with me today? I actually served a customer...'

'Everything works fine? Don't worry, sir! We'll mess it up for you!'