Customer Service Comedy Lover Gifts

'For kicking our salesman down the stairs, we take 10 euros extra charge, sir!'

"The complaint department is next door."

'Apparently, Smith's desk just couldn't withstand the weight of the paperwork we piled on his desk.'

"There are no big jobs, only small machines."

Grim Reaper rowing a boat full of dead souls to the afterlife; a tip jar sits on the side of the boat.

'What can I do to create a climate where things get done?'

"Can I have another free biscuit for my dog?" "Sure." "Can you warm this one up? Maybe sprinkle some cinnamon and sugar on it, and maybe make it three biscuits?" "You sure this is for your dog?" "Can you also sprinkle a little turkey on it?"

"I like Casual Dining, but this is too casual. I ordered spaghetti!"

'Oh, hello Dave. Would you like that in untraceable, used notes, like last time?'

"Not more sleeve alterations?!"

"You're an overweight, overpaid, over-the-hill senior executive, Dalrymple. What did you have in mind to remedy that situation?"

'Your call may be monitored to give us a few good laughs.'

"I suppose that's what happens when 'putting customers first' comes second!"

'Remember Jones, the customer is always right, no matter how stupid and ignorant he may be.'

"Go on in—he's expecting you."

Frank abuses the Power of Attorney.

'Accounting has suggested we standardize our billing procedure.'

'Would you like a room on the sunny side, sir? Haha, just kidding!'

"There is no 'I' in 'team', however there are several 'I's in 'I'm the boss and you do what I say'."

'Due to company cutbacks, you won't be getting that raise. However, to earn extra money, I can hire you to wash my corporate jet.'

'Why did you leave your last job?' 'You would too, if they sold your desk and changed all the locks!'

"I'd recommend this."

"I'd like to leave a wake up call for, . ... OHH ..., April."

"Will that be for here or to go?"

Thank You for Not Bringing Up My Salary

'We found your luggage! It went to Buffalo!'

Drac, I gotta have a better office if I'm gonna market your Tomato Juice.

'Tellers laughing ' 'Can I have my statement?'

'Delegating has worked well for me....I haven't actually done anything since 1993.'

'You are through to 24/7 support...our helpline times are between 8am and 7pm.'

'Congratulations, Fingleworth. You made the 'Million Dollar Club.' We estimate that's what you've cost the company.'

"If your internet doesn't work, please check our online help chat...if your internet doesn't work..."

'Why on earth did you ask the customer if there was anything else you could do for him??!'

'He's with a creditor right now. Can I get him to call you back?'

Woah!...Hold it right there! This micro-managing stuff stops right here and now!'