Customer Service Comedy Lover Gifts

'For kicking our salesman down the stairs, we take 10 euros extra charge, sir!'

"The complaint department is next door."

'Apparently, Smith's desk just couldn't withstand the weight of the paperwork we piled on his desk.'

"There are no big jobs, only small machines."

Grim Reaper rowing a boat full of dead souls to the afterlife; a tip jar sits on the side of the boat.

'What can I do to create a climate where things get done?'

"I like Casual Dining, but this is too casual. I ordered spaghetti!"

'Your call may be monitored to give us a few good laughs.'

"You're an overweight, overpaid, over-the-hill senior executive, Dalrymple. What did you have in mind to remedy that situation?"

"Not more sleeve alterations?!"

If you don't give me a free hot chocolate, you're probably not a patriot. #$%* Fox News.

"Can I have another free biscuit for my dog?" "Sure." "Can you warm this one up? Maybe sprinkle some cinnamon and sugar on it, and maybe make it three biscuits?" "You sure this is for your dog?" "Can you also sprinkle a little turkey on it?"

'Oh, hello Dave. Would you like that in untraceable, used notes, like last time?'

"I suppose that's what happens when 'putting customers first' comes second!"

'Remember Jones, the customer is always right, no matter how stupid and ignorant he may be.'

"Let me take that for you."

"Go on in—he's expecting you."

Frank abuses the Power of Attorney.

'Accounting has suggested we standardize our billing procedure.'

'Due to company cutbacks, you won't be getting that raise. However, to earn extra money, I can hire you to wash my corporate jet.'

'Would you like a room on the sunny side, sir? Haha, just kidding!'

'Why did you leave your last job?' 'You would too, if they sold your desk and changed all the locks!'

"There is no 'I' in 'team', however there are several 'I's in 'I'm the boss and you do what I say'."

"I'd recommend this."

"I'd like to leave a wake up call for, . ... OHH ..., April."

"Will that be for here or to go?"

Drac, I gotta have a better office if I'm gonna market your Tomato Juice.

'We found your luggage! It went to Buffalo!'

Thank You for Not Bringing Up My Salary

'Tellers laughing ' 'Can I have my statement?'

'Delegating has worked well for me....I haven't actually done anything since 1993.'

'Congratulations, Fingleworth. You made the 'Million Dollar Club.' We estimate that's what you've cost the company.'

"If your internet doesn't work, please check our online help chat...if your internet doesn't work..."

'You are through to 24/7 support...our helpline times are between 8am and 7pm.'

"Congratulations, Thornhill. It seems you won this year's downhill championship!"