Humorist With A Green Thumb Gifts

Ernie got up on the wrong side of the garden bed again.

Customers seek Alyssum in Garden Centre.

ducks embarrassing a gardener

'Was this eye of newt locally sourced?'

Prize vegetables.

The Busy Gardener

'If I had known it was going to be such a late Spring, i would have never started my garden seeds, indoors.'

"Well, that's created a little order in a world of chaos."

Maybe I should have measured my garden before going shopping....

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

"Cheery little flowers, saying good night, saying good morning!"

"Stop the throw-away mentality! Save resources! A New Year every 750 days is quite enough!"

Allotment

"We really need more perennials? Aren't my weeds and crabgrass enough?"

"Hi there! - I'm the world's first eco-friendly comedian... All My Jokes Are Recycled...!"

"First time pruning?"

Gardener

Doing the borders.

"Usually gardeners only have green thumbs, so you must really spend a lot of time in the garden."

I hate deer! What do you have to repel them? They're awful. I've got fences. Sprays. Decoys. Tree's Tree Nursery. I'll takes these. Anything to get rid of the varmints. Ring him up, Twig. I don't know why you are so down on deer. They've been very good to you! Anti-deer.

'You wouldn't happen to be sitting on my entry to the straightest runner bean competition?'

Horti-Culture

Palms. When fully grown that species will provide some nice shade in your your yard. Fronds with benefits.

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

Garden Goddess.

The Gardener's Calendar: Try to Repair It...

Garden.

'It's an extinction notice.'

An old man growing berries

Herbophiles protest mass killings of plants.

Eco Princess

"Do you see that inexplicably beautiful hydrangea over there?… Nature calls."

Man cutting hedge next to two heads impaled on sticks. Signs beneath say 'You missed a bit' and 'You can do mine next'.

I want to rip out our lawn and plant a wild meadow. And I want lost of well-mown grass. What do you recommend? Nursery open. Just a sec. I'll check with my dad. No way! Tree's Tree Nursery. I'm not suggesting a marriage counselor!

Award Winning Gardener