Humorist With A Green Thumb T-Shirts

Ernie got up on the wrong side of the garden bed again.

Customers seek Alyssum in Garden Centre.

'Was this eye of newt locally sourced?'

Prize vegetables.

The Busy Gardener

'If I had known it was going to be such a late Spring, i would have never started my garden seeds, indoors.'

"Well, that's created a little order in a world of chaos."

Maybe I should have measured my garden before going shopping....

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

Doing the borders.

"Hi there! - I'm the world's first eco-friendly comedian... All My Jokes Are Recycled...!"

Allotment

"We really need more perennials? Aren't my weeds and crabgrass enough?"

"Cheery little flowers, saying good night, saying good morning!"

"Stop the throw-away mentality! Save resources! A New Year every 750 days is quite enough!"

"First time pruning?"

Gardener

"Usually gardeners only have green thumbs, so you must really spend a lot of time in the garden."

'You wouldn't happen to be sitting on my entry to the straightest runner bean competition?'

Horti-Culture

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

Garden Goddess.

The Gardener's Calendar: Try to Repair It...

Garden.

'It's an extinction notice.'

Award Winning Gardener

Man cutting hedge next to two heads impaled on sticks. Signs beneath say 'You missed a bit' and 'You can do mine next'.

Eco Princess

"I wanted to plant my own food, but I couldn't find bacon seeds!"

Herbophiles protest mass killings of plants.

An old man growing berries

"Do you see that inexplicably beautiful hydrangea over there?… Nature calls."

'Looks like Reginald wasn't kidding when he said he's going to start urban farming on the roof...'

Greenfingers.

Water the hydrangeas twice a week and trim as needed. The bromeliad only needs to be high-fived on Saturday, but you can give it high and low fives anytime you have a spare moment. Just, whatever you do, don't give it a "too slow" or it will turn inward and begin shutting down.