Green-thumbed Humorist T-Shirts

'We can't wait to get into a bed with you lot!'

"I wanted to plant my own food, but I couldn't find bacon seeds!"

"Hi there! - I'm the world's first eco-friendly comedian... All My Jokes Are Recycled...!"

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

'It's an extinction notice.'

Look! Up in the sky! It's absurd! It's inane! It's Malaprop Man! Malaprop Man, I hear you're fighting climate change now. Yes starting with solo panels, I'm reducing greenhouse guesses! I'm investing in buttery technology. I'm going to have windmeals. And of course, I've stopped drinking cola. Why is that? I'll have a smaller carbonated footprint!

The Music Seed

The Gardener's Holiday: Don't leave produce behind you to perish.

Man looks at huge dinosaur fossil in garden, saying: 'It looks great in the rockery, but don't you think you should call the Natural History Museum?'

"I didn't see the coffee table in the middle of the room, due to my visual impairment, caused by the rubbish light emitted by the government approved 150 watt energy saving bulb in my apartment..."

The new green legislature requires methane mitigation.

"Oh no, it's Flash Garden!"

"I wouldn't take the name 'dog strangling vine' literally."

Oil Spill Hits Wall St.

This is where Brent council sends you

"Must've planted those seeds upside down..."

Shipwrecked with an environmentalist.

"You have a good lie."

"You're not helping the methane problem, you know."

'You haven't much experience in plant conservation, have you Winthorpe?'

"Your DNA test came back – you're 49% from the Amazon, 49% from the Caribbean, and 2% from some plastics plant in Texas."

Hairy Potter.

Clown watering his flowers.

'Was this eye of newt locally sourced?'

We've gotten all we can with traditional drilling techniques. What do you know about fracking?

"I'm doing my part to conserve electricity."

'It's not you...it's your carbon footprint!'

Ernie got up on the wrong side of the garden bed again.

Global Warming.

Earth-Friendly Financial Services: "Working to protect our planet by accumulating vast piles of your money."

'Gene Pool'

'They can't help smelling like that -- they're biodegradable.'

"Do you have anything less - green?"

Customers seek Alyssum in Garden Centre.

Well, good luck evolving, son, and don't do anything I wouldn't do! You know, like destroy the planet or something.