Green-thumbed Humorist Pillows

'We can't wait to get into a bed with you lot!'

"I wanted to plant my own food, but I couldn't find bacon seeds!"

"Hi there! - I'm the world's first eco-friendly comedian... All My Jokes Are Recycled...!"

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

'It's an extinction notice.'

The Music Seed

Man looks at huge dinosaur fossil in garden, saying: 'It looks great in the rockery, but don't you think you should call the Natural History Museum?'

The Gardener's Holiday: Don't leave produce behind you to perish.

The new green legislature requires methane mitigation.

"I didn't see the coffee table in the middle of the room, due to my visual impairment, caused by the rubbish light emitted by the government approved 150 watt energy saving bulb in my apartment..."

"I wouldn't take the name 'dog strangling vine' literally."

"Oh no, it's Flash Garden!"

Oil Spill Hits Wall St.

This is where Brent council sends you

"Must've planted those seeds upside down..."

"You're not helping the methane problem, you know."

"You have a good lie."

'You haven't much experience in plant conservation, have you Winthorpe?'

'Was this eye of newt locally sourced?'

'It's not you...it's your carbon footprint!'

"Your DNA test came back – you're 49% from the Amazon, 49% from the Caribbean, and 2% from some plastics plant in Texas."

Clown watering his flowers.

"I'm doing my part to conserve electricity."

Ernie got up on the wrong side of the garden bed again.

Global Warming.

'Gene Pool'

Earth-Friendly Financial Services: "Working to protect our planet by accumulating vast piles of your money."

Gardening Terminology: Freezia

"Do you have anything less - green?"

Climate-Conscious Cartoonists Work Without Paper!

Customers seek Alyssum in Garden Centre.

'They can't help smelling like that -- they're biodegradable.'