Green Thumb Jokester T-Shirts

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

Say it with cacti

"Worry about global warming and your funny tropical fish...when you've cleared all those weeds off the driveway."

Prize vegetables.

Allotment

"First time pruning?"

Herbophiles protest mass killings of plants.

"I wanted to plant my own food, but I couldn't find bacon seeds!"

Greenfingers.

The Garden

The Gardener's Holiday: Don't leave produce behind you to perish.

"Mulch madness"

Man looks at huge dinosaur fossil in garden, saying: 'It looks great in the rockery, but don't you think you should call the Natural History Museum?'

"I can't make it out - on the packet it said radishes."

"Before invasive species, the only things I could grow were weeds and mildew."

Man transplants plant in his garden.

"You must have a green thumb."

'That GMO gene salesman was darn right!'

"Al emerged from his man cave and saw crabgrass. That means 6 months of obsessing about crabgrass."

Cut out and keep your own Gardener!

'There are some good things about a vegetable garden. Dirt at your fingertips, for instance.'

"Every year about this time...Tia Carmen gets back to her roots."

"I'm feeling somewhat optimistic. Let's get perennials."

Garden seeds - giant varieties

"The pea's the first vegetable I've ever grown. Can you stuff and mount it for me please?"

A gardener potting up sun loving and shade loving seedlings.

'I don't know who he is...but he roto-tilled my entire yard and never even stopped to let me thank him!'

"Things are getting really bad around here. Phil, the office plant, was just let go."

The Gardener's Calendar: Get Your Mower Out of The Shed.

'We can't fire Wembley... it's now a Protected Habitat!'

Gardener

"Spring is definitely here! Which means yard work is not far behind...."

Tree collapse...

'The good news is I just dethatched the lawn. The bad news is the lawn was nothing but thatch. . .'

'You've never planted potatoes before have you?'