Green Thumb Comedian Gifts

Man looks at huge dinosaur fossil in garden, saying: 'It looks great in the rockery, but don't you think you should call the Natural History Museum?'

Man in shower watering plant.

"My astroturf died!"

Prize vegetables.

Allotment

"First time pruning?"

'We use to tiptoe through the tulips. . . now we just waddle through the weeds.'

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

Herbophiles protest mass killings of plants.

Greenfingers.

The Garden

"Hey! Plants are on sale again! Woo-hoo!"

Couple using thier new garden hose in the rain

"Oi - I was pollinating that!!"

"I can't make it out - on the packet it said radishes."

"Mulch madness"

The Gardener's Holiday: Don't leave produce behind you to perish.

'I've found a spade I like Julia...'

"Before invasive species, the only things I could grow were weeds and mildew."

Man transplants plant in his garden.

"You must have a green thumb."

"Every year about this time...Tia Carmen gets back to her roots."

"Al emerged from his man cave and saw crabgrass. That means 6 months of obsessing about crabgrass."

Garden seeds - giant varieties

'That GMO gene salesman was darn right!'

"The pea's the first vegetable I've ever grown. Can you stuff and mount it for me please?"

Mr. Cranky Pants Plants A Garden Part 9

'There are some good things about a vegetable garden. Dirt at your fingertips, for instance.'

"I'm feeling somewhat optimistic. Let's get perennials."

Cut out and keep your own Gardener!

A gardener potting up sun loving and shade loving seedlings.

Getting Rid of the Cure

'Germinate... Germin-ate!!'

The Gardener's Calendar: Get Your Mower Out of The Shed.

'We can't fire Wembley... it's now a Protected Habitat!'