Green Thumb Comedian Gifts

Man looks at huge dinosaur fossil in garden, saying: 'It looks great in the rockery, but don't you think you should call the Natural History Museum?'

Man in shower watering plant.

"My astroturf died!"

Prize vegetables.

Allotment

"First time pruning?"

'We use to tiptoe through the tulips. . . now we just waddle through the weeds.'

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

Herbophiles protest mass killings of plants.

Greenfingers.

The Garden

"I can't make it out - on the packet it said radishes."

Couple using thier new garden hose in the rain

"Oi - I was pollinating that!!"

"Mulch madness"

The Gardener's Holiday: Don't leave produce behind you to perish.

'I've found a spade I like Julia...'

"Before invasive species, the only things I could grow were weeds and mildew."

Man transplants plant in his garden.

"You must have a green thumb."

Cut out and keep your own Gardener!

"Al emerged from his man cave and saw crabgrass. That means 6 months of obsessing about crabgrass."

'That GMO gene salesman was darn right!'

'There are some good things about a vegetable garden. Dirt at your fingertips, for instance.'

"Every year about this time...Tia Carmen gets back to her roots."

"I'm feeling somewhat optimistic. Let's get perennials."

Garden seeds - giant varieties

"The pea's the first vegetable I've ever grown. Can you stuff and mount it for me please?"

A gardener potting up sun loving and shade loving seedlings.

'I don't know who he is...but he roto-tilled my entire yard and never even stopped to let me thank him!'

The Gardener's Calendar: Get Your Mower Out of The Shed.

Gardener

"Spring is definitely here! Which means yard work is not far behind...."

Fenwick, while I'm away I'm putting you in charge of the plant.