Green Thumb Jokers Gifts

'What kind of bulbs did you put in here?'

'If you don't water them enough they burn before the're ripe...'

Prize vegetables.

Allotment

"First time pruning?"

'We use to tiptoe through the tulips. . . now we just waddle through the weeds.'

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

Herbophiles protest mass killings of plants.

Greenfingers.

The Garden

"I can't make it out - on the packet it said radishes."

Man looks at huge dinosaur fossil in garden, saying: 'It looks great in the rockery, but don't you think you should call the Natural History Museum?'

"Mulch madness"

The Gardener's Holiday: Don't leave produce behind you to perish.

'I've found a spade I like Julia...'

"Before invasive species, the only things I could grow were weeds and mildew."

Man transplants plant in his garden.

"You must have a green thumb."

"I'm feeling somewhat optimistic. Let's get perennials."

'That GMO gene salesman was darn right!'

"Al emerged from his man cave and saw crabgrass. That means 6 months of obsessing about crabgrass."

'There are some good things about a vegetable garden. Dirt at your fingertips, for instance.'

"The pea's the first vegetable I've ever grown. Can you stuff and mount it for me please?"

Cut out and keep your own Gardener!

"Every year about this time...Tia Carmen gets back to her roots."

Garden seeds - giant varieties

A gardener potting up sun loving and shade loving seedlings.

The Gardener's Calendar: Get Your Mower Out of The Shed.

"Spring is definitely here! Which means yard work is not far behind...."

'We can't fire Wembley... it's now a Protected Habitat!'

Gardener

"Things are getting really bad around here. Phil, the office plant, was just let go."

'I don't know who he is...but he roto-tilled my entire yard and never even stopped to let me thank him!'

Getting Rid of the Cure