Green Thumb Chuckler Gifts

'Hey buddy, no photosynthesis!'

'Are you throwing your medicine out of the window again?'

Prize vegetables.

Allotment

"First time pruning?"

'We use to tiptoe through the tulips. . . now we just waddle through the weeds.'

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

Herbophiles protest mass killings of plants.

Greenfingers.

Irritable trowel syndrome.

The Garden

Man looks at huge dinosaur fossil in garden, saying: 'It looks great in the rockery, but don't you think you should call the Natural History Museum?'

"I can't make it out - on the packet it said radishes."

The Gardener's Holiday: Don't leave produce behind you to perish.

"Mulch madness"

"Hey! Plants are on sale again! Woo-hoo!"

'I've found a spade I like Julia...'

"Before invasive species, the only things I could grow were weeds and mildew."

"You must have a green thumb."

'It says right here on the package, Ed, 'avoid any direct contact with skin'!'

Man transplants plant in his garden.

Mr. Cranky Pants Plants A Garden Part 9

"Every year about this time...Tia Carmen gets back to her roots."

"Al emerged from his man cave and saw crabgrass. That means 6 months of obsessing about crabgrass."

'That GMO gene salesman was darn right!'

"The pea's the first vegetable I've ever grown. Can you stuff and mount it for me please?"

Cut out and keep your own Gardener!

Garden seeds - giant varieties

'There are some good things about a vegetable garden. Dirt at your fingertips, for instance.'

"I'm feeling somewhat optimistic. Let's get perennials."

A gardener potting up sun loving and shade loving seedlings.

"Things are getting really bad around here. Phil, the office plant, was just let go."

'We can't fire Wembley... it's now a Protected Habitat!'

'Germinate... Germin-ate!!'

Gardener