Green Thumb Joker Gifts

'Nobody said anything about a bagpipe ban.'

"I think I've found your transistor radio."

Prize vegetables.

The Endless Battle of the Organic Gardener

Allotment

"First time pruning?"

'I used to do that, but it just grows again.'

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

Planting seeds in garden - broad beans and jelly beans.

"You've just got to have the biggest and the best, have'nt you?!"

Herbophiles protest mass killings of plants.

Greenfingers.

"Bob! Your manure's here!"

The Garden

"Just a couple of ninety cent seed packets, and you can have fresh garden vegetables for heaven knows how long."

"I can't make it out - on the packet it said radishes."

Man looks at huge dinosaur fossil in garden, saying: 'It looks great in the rockery, but don't you think you should call the Natural History Museum?'

The Gardener's Holiday: Don't leave produce behind you to perish.

"Mulch madness"

Look at the size of that fork. She must be very hungry!

"Before invasive species, the only things I could grow were weeds and mildew."

-A garden uses a lot of water. -Most of it perspiration.

Gardener's Calendar: Try to put the other things back...

Man transplants plant in his garden.

"You must have a green thumb."

"I'm feeling somewhat optimistic. Let's get perennials."

"The pea's the first vegetable I've ever grown. Can you stuff and mount it for me please?"

'Don't you think it's time you tackled the wandering dew?'

"Al emerged from his man cave and saw crabgrass. That means 6 months of obsessing about crabgrass."

'That GMO gene salesman was darn right!'

"Every year about this time...Tia Carmen gets back to her roots."

Cut out and keep your own Gardener!

'There are some good things about a vegetable garden. Dirt at your fingertips, for instance.'

A gardener potting up sun loving and shade loving seedlings.