Green Thumb Jokesters Gifts

'I've decided to go straight!'

Prize vegetables.

Allotment

"First time pruning?"

'We use to tiptoe through the tulips. . . now we just waddle through the weeds.'

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

"I wanted to plant my own food, but I couldn't find bacon seeds!"

Herbophiles protest mass killings of plants.

Greenfingers.

The Garden

"I can't make it out - on the packet it said radishes."

Man looks at huge dinosaur fossil in garden, saying: 'It looks great in the rockery, but don't you think you should call the Natural History Museum?'

"Mulch madness"

The Gardener's Holiday: Don't leave produce behind you to perish.

'I've found a spade I like Julia...'

"Before invasive species, the only things I could grow were weeds and mildew."

"You must have a green thumb."

Man transplants plant in his garden.

Cut out and keep your own Gardener!

"Al emerged from his man cave and saw crabgrass. That means 6 months of obsessing about crabgrass."

'That GMO gene salesman was darn right!'

'There are some good things about a vegetable garden. Dirt at your fingertips, for instance.'

"Every year about this time...Tia Carmen gets back to her roots."

"I'm feeling somewhat optimistic. Let's get perennials."

Garden seeds - giant varieties

"The pea's the first vegetable I've ever grown. Can you stuff and mount it for me please?"

A gardener potting up sun loving and shade loving seedlings.

'I don't know who he is...but he roto-tilled my entire yard and never even stopped to let me thank him!'

The Gardener's Calendar: Get Your Mower Out of The Shed.

'We can't fire Wembley... it's now a Protected Habitat!'

Gardener

"Spring is definitely here! Which means yard work is not far behind...."

Tree collapse...