Green Thumb Jokesters Gifts

'I've decided to go straight!'

Prize vegetables.

Allotment

"First time pruning?"

'We use to tiptoe through the tulips. . . now we just waddle through the weeds.'

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

Herbophiles protest mass killings of plants.

"I wanted to plant my own food, but I couldn't find bacon seeds!"

Greenfingers.

The Garden

"I can't make it out - on the packet it said radishes."

The Gardener's Holiday: Don't leave produce behind you to perish.

"Hey! Plants are on sale again! Woo-hoo!"

Man looks at huge dinosaur fossil in garden, saying: 'It looks great in the rockery, but don't you think you should call the Natural History Museum?'

"Mulch madness"

'I've found a spade I like Julia...'

"Before invasive species, the only things I could grow were weeds and mildew."

"You must have a green thumb."

Man transplants plant in his garden.

Mr. Cranky Pants Plants A Garden Part 9

Cut out and keep your own Gardener!

"The pea's the first vegetable I've ever grown. Can you stuff and mount it for me please?"

"I'm feeling somewhat optimistic. Let's get perennials."

'That GMO gene salesman was darn right!'

Garden seeds - giant varieties

'There are some good things about a vegetable garden. Dirt at your fingertips, for instance.'

"Every year about this time...Tia Carmen gets back to her roots."

"Al emerged from his man cave and saw crabgrass. That means 6 months of obsessing about crabgrass."

A gardener potting up sun loving and shade loving seedlings.

The Gardener's Calendar: Get Your Mower Out of The Shed.

"Spring is definitely here! Which means yard work is not far behind...."

'I don't know who he is...but he roto-tilled my entire yard and never even stopped to let me thank him!'

Gardener

'Germinate... Germin-ate!!'

'We can't fire Wembley... it's now a Protected Habitat!'