Green Fingered Humorist Gifts

"I did have plants, but they were so needy."

"Hi there! - I'm the world's first eco-friendly comedian... All My Jokes Are Recycled...!"

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

'It's an extinction notice.'

"I wanted to plant my own food, but I couldn't find bacon seeds!"

The Gardener's Holiday: Don't leave produce behind you to perish.

Man looks at huge dinosaur fossil in garden, saying: 'It looks great in the rockery, but don't you think you should call the Natural History Museum?'

'I don't give advice. I'm only up here because it's safer.'

"I didn't see the coffee table in the middle of the room, due to my visual impairment, caused by the rubbish light emitted by the government approved 150 watt energy saving bulb in my apartment..."

'...and this is the water garden...'

You will always find a spot to garden

"I wouldn't take the name 'dog strangling vine' literally."

This is where Brent council sends you

Oil Spill Hits Wall St.

"Must've planted those seeds upside down..."

"This is a terrible table!"

'You haven't much experience in plant conservation, have you Winthorpe?'

"You have a good lie."

"You're not helping the methane problem, you know."

"Rising sea levels."

'There! another batch of clean coal.'

"Will this global warming mean we'll have longer summer vacations?"

You Are Here.

Perfect solution. Free street lighting, and we sell the surplus to the national grid.

'What we have to do is utilize some pollution control equipment in our manufacturing of pollution control equipment.'

'The only problem with solar powered air conditioners is finding a long enough extension cord.'

Clown watering his flowers.

An snail shell with a chimney

"Let's not migrate, and just say we did.;"

'Was this eye of newt locally sourced?'