Green Fingered Humorist Gifts

"I did have plants, but they were so needy."

"Hi there! - I'm the world's first eco-friendly comedian... All My Jokes Are Recycled...!"

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

'It's an extinction notice.'

Look! Up in the sky! It's absurd! It's inane! It's Malaprop Man! Malaprop Man, I hear you're fighting climate change now. Yes starting with solo panels, I'm reducing greenhouse guesses! I'm investing in buttery technology. I'm going to have windmeals. And of course, I've stopped drinking cola. Why is that? I'll have a smaller carbonated footprint!

"I wanted to plant my own food, but I couldn't find bacon seeds!"

Man looks at huge dinosaur fossil in garden, saying: 'It looks great in the rockery, but don't you think you should call the Natural History Museum?'

The Gardener's Holiday: Don't leave produce behind you to perish.

'I don't give advice. I'm only up here because it's safer.'

"I didn't see the coffee table in the middle of the room, due to my visual impairment, caused by the rubbish light emitted by the government approved 150 watt energy saving bulb in my apartment..."

'...and this is the water garden...'

You will always find a spot to garden

"I wouldn't take the name 'dog strangling vine' literally."

This is where Brent council sends you

Oil Spill Hits Wall St.

"Must've planted those seeds upside down..."

"This is a terrible table!"

'It's self cleaning, and runs on natural gas.'

"Rising sea levels."

'You haven't much experience in plant conservation, have you Winthorpe?'

"You have a good lie."

Shipwrecked with an environmentalist.

"You're not helping the methane problem, you know."

'There! another batch of clean coal.'

"Will this global warming mean we'll have longer summer vacations?"

Perfect solution. Free street lighting, and we sell the surplus to the national grid.

You Are Here.

'The only problem with solar powered air conditioners is finding a long enough extension cord.'

Just think! If the mall goes bust, what happens to all that paved-over land? Save our mall. We could roll up the asphalt and start a huge nature preserve. What about current wildlife? Hmm�You're right. I don't think the endangered species act covers mall rats.

"Let's not migrate, and just say we did.;"

'Was this eye of newt locally sourced?'

'What we have to do is utilize some pollution control equipment in our manufacturing of pollution control equipment.'

An snail shell with a chimney

Hairy Potter.

Clown watering his flowers.