Humorist Of Hounds Gifts

"Darling, this dog food is delicious!"

'I never saw anybody make such a fuss over a Spring checkup!'

Sympathetic nursing will work wonders

Dog Hunting Trophies.

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

'Are we nearly there yet?'

"He's no hat and all corgis."

"Your usually vicious sarcasm is weak. Go pump some irony."

"I'm working from home today."

For speedy operation and ease of control get a pony.

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

No Soliciting

'I'd like to return this, please.'

Pet psychic -- yup, she's for real.

'Why is it he never understands sit , stay or down, but understands spayed and neutered?'

Bingo! Credit card number!! The real reason raccoons like garbage.

"Ugh—someone in the group chat must have seen a squirrel."

"Pssst. Fake poop."

"Now turn your head and bark."

"No Joke! I taught my dog to fetch coffee."

"Yeah well, now that we're married, he's not making any effort: he hasn't been to a grooming appointment in months!"

News and Magazines. Tax Bill Debate. The trickle-down can never compete with siphon-up.

'Trains traditionally run late, it rains on bank holidays and Yorkshire pudding is a main course.'

'Where's my horse?'

"I did, boss, I swear, I buried him myself."

Dogs texting each other emojis

'Ere-we distinctly asked for SAM an' Ella!'

"I need a hip replacement but I believe they're looking at a dog replacement."

Woman is shocked at seeing her weight, she doesn't realise that her dog is also on the scales.

'I taught him to shake hands, but I don't know where he got the joybuzzer!'

'Would you like me to wipe the cup with my finger or would you prefer Rover here licking it clean?'

"There are those who say I'm a throwback to Monet."

"Sometimes Bob wags when he's happy—but these days, it usually means he just tooted."

"Consider yourself chased."

'Bob likes to express himself through his art!'