Hound Humorists Gifts

'It argues that we dogs are happier when our freedom is limited, and I think I agree with that.'

Sympathetic nursing will work wonders

Dog Hunting Trophies.

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

'Dogs are so silly: Just throw a ball or a stick and they'll chase it and bring it back!'

'Are we nearly there yet?'

"Wow, these slippers are really warm!"

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

"Well, here's the problem. You been takin' the hair ball pills and givin' the Viagra to the cats."

"He's no hat and all corgis."

For speedy operation and ease of control get a pony.

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

Hats and Food

'...Excuse me...Whoops, my fault!..Sorry!..You first...Pardon Me...Sorry...S'cuse me...Look out!...Pardon'

"Scuba cow"

'Of course I'm being catty. How else do you expect me to act?'

"Yes, one is a dog."

No Soliciting

'Jurassic Pork.'

'I'd like to return this, please.'

Pet psychic -- yup, she's for real.

'While you're 'fixing' my private parts, could you give me a loaner pair?'

"Yes, it's a safe: I was fed up with my winter provisions being raided by freeloaders!"

"Grass-cream! Thanks Mum!"

"Yep. Looks like we have ringworm."

'Well, I guess we're the control group.'

No jay walking.

"That product you are using is fantastic. Your eye bags are gone."

'Mom and dad...if someone threw a rock at me, it would really be like killing two birds with one stone.' 'I told you if we had a child, he'd be a wise-quacker.'

'Why is it he never understands sit , stay or down, but understands spayed and neutered?'

Northeastern Deer/Southwestern Deer

"I'm concerned. You seem to have catlike reflexes."

"You might want to start bringing more carrots home, dear. I think I have an ingrown hare."

"Did you know he'd joined a squirrel watchers club?"

'Settle an argument. Which is better incessant barking or meowing?'