Hound Humorists Gifts

'It argues that we dogs are happier when our freedom is limited, and I think I agree with that.'

Sympathetic nursing will work wonders

Dog Hunting Trophies.

'Dogs are so silly: Just throw a ball or a stick and they'll chase it and bring it back!'

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

"Well, here's the problem. You been takin' the hair ball pills and givin' the Viagra to the cats."

"Wow, these slippers are really warm!"

'Are we nearly there yet?'

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

"He's no hat and all corgis."

For speedy operation and ease of control get a pony.

"Yes, one is a dog."

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

'Of course I'm being catty. How else do you expect me to act?'

Hats and Food

"Scuba cow"

'Jurassic Pork.'

'...Excuse me...Whoops, my fault!..Sorry!..You first...Pardon Me...Sorry...S'cuse me...Look out!...Pardon'

No Soliciting

"Yes, it's a safe: I was fed up with my winter provisions being raided by freeloaders!"

'While you're 'fixing' my private parts, could you give me a loaner pair?'

"Yep. Looks like we have ringworm."

Pet psychic -- yup, she's for real.

"Grass-cream! Thanks Mum!"

'Well, I guess we're the control group.'

No jay walking.

'Why is it he never understands sit , stay or down, but understands spayed and neutered?'

"That product you are using is fantastic. Your eye bags are gone."

"Toadstool you say? No, this is snailstool now!"

Northeastern Deer/Southwestern Deer

"You might want to start bringing more carrots home, dear. I think I have an ingrown hare."

'Settle an argument. Which is better incessant barking or meowing?'