Humorist Of Hounds Pillows

"Darling, this dog food is delicious!"

'I never saw anybody make such a fuss over a Spring checkup!'

Sympathetic nursing will work wonders

Dog Hunting Trophies.

"Your usually vicious sarcasm is weak. Go pump some irony."

'Are we nearly there yet?'

"He's no hat and all corgis."

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

"I'm working from home today."

For speedy operation and ease of control get a pony.

No Soliciting

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

Pet psychic -- yup, she's for real.

'Why is it he never understands sit , stay or down, but understands spayed and neutered?'

"Now turn your head and bark."

"Ugh—someone in the group chat must have seen a squirrel."

"Pssst. Fake poop."

"Yeah well, now that we're married, he's not making any effort: he hasn't been to a grooming appointment in months!"

"No Joke! I taught my dog to fetch coffee."

'Where's my horse?'

'Trains traditionally run late, it rains on bank holidays and Yorkshire pudding is a main course.'

Woman is shocked at seeing her weight, she doesn't realise that her dog is also on the scales.

"There are those who say I'm a throwback to Monet."

'I taught him to shake hands, but I don't know where he got the joybuzzer!'

"I did, boss, I swear, I buried him myself."

"Sometimes Bob wags when he's happy—but these days, it usually means he just tooted."

Dogs texting each other emojis

'Ere-we distinctly asked for SAM an' Ella!'

'Would you like me to wipe the cup with my finger or would you prefer Rover here licking it clean?'

"I need a hip replacement but I believe they're looking at a dog replacement."

"Consider yourself chased."

'Bob likes to express himself through his art!'

'No need to shout.'

'Doctor, did you say 5 minutes of traction, or 5 hours?'