Humorous Hounds Pillows

"I find it increasingly difficult to remain man's best friend."

Skeleton playing fetch.

'Are we nearly there yet?'

"Your usually vicious sarcasm is weak. Go pump some irony."

No Soliciting

Pet psychic -- yup, she's for real.

Dog wearing a cone

'Why is it he never understands sit , stay or down, but understands spayed and neutered?'

"No Joke! I taught my dog to fetch coffee."

'Don't worry, my baser instincts are in a surgical waste bin in Hoboken.'

'You're the watchdog. Do you honestly expect us to believe you didn't see anything?'

'Trains traditionally run late, it rains on bank holidays and Yorkshire pudding is a main course.'

"Consider yourself chased."

Woman is shocked at seeing her weight, she doesn't realise that her dog is also on the scales.

'I taught him to shake hands, but I don't know where he got the joybuzzer!'

Cat Gets Hole in One.

'Ere-we distinctly asked for SAM an' Ella!'

'Would you like me to wipe the cup with my finger or would you prefer Rover here licking it clean?'

'Bob likes to express himself through his art!'

'No need to shout.'

'Good dog!'

'Doctor, did you say 5 minutes of traction, or 5 hours?'

'When they start calling you a splendid bird, you know you're in trouble.'

Dog to dog: 'I hate the way pointers are always blaming somebody else.'

'No! That's not a wall safe, it's a porthole!'

"And yet, I too am a still life."

Canine Scent-ipede

A sausage dog shrinking after toileting

"Not sure if I'm hungry or bored."

The Poodle and The Twooudle.

"So the old man says 'you're getting fixed,' and I'm thinkin', you know, maybe he's gonna patch up the hole in my doghouse..."

"Is that one of those brandy dogs?"

"Why would I care of you scratch the couch? I'm not allowed on it..."