Hound Humor Enthusiast Pillows

"So the vet says, 'If this is my thermometer, then where's my pen?' . . . Get it!? . . . IS this thing on!?"

"Say, when did you get so fluff?"

No Soliciting

"Don't make me warn you again, monkey. Stay outa the curiosity racket."

"Shake! Good Dog."

'There's nothing wrong with your heart. It's your soft chocolate center.'

'The Buck Stops Here.'

Next year, we are NOT going to Costco.

"Two of every known creature on the planet and you forgot the pooper-scooper?"

After chasing the rabbit for many hours, Buster found himself very far from home indeed.

Penguin

'Cheryl, you are getting way too wrapped up in the dog.'

'Now that you've moved in and unpacked, Higgins, we'd like you to start thinking outside of the box.'

"You say that using a colicky horse to pull you out of the mud may actually help his colic?"

'Don't worry, my baser instincts are in a surgical waste bin in Hoboken.'

Blind man feeding an empty fish tank

Rogue elephant

"Try to blame that one on the dog."

The continuing adventures of Rex, Washington DC insider.

'I object, Your Honor! Hearsay evidence!'

Vulture proclaims its love for highways.

'Mint?! These taste like cardboard!'

Balloon dog training

Notorious gangsters, Bunny and Clyde.

"When I go, I’d like my ashes dumped on top of a squirrel’s head."

"When I get to heaven do you think I'll get my testicles back?"

"Did you really think you were getting in here?"

"I've been really craving Italian food for months now. Can you grab me two kilos of rigatoni, three kilos of fettuccini, and a bigger shell? The one I have is feeling a bit too tight lately."

'Looks like the Wentworths are still on the outs.'

Cuthbert was a pit of a party animal

Various Birds of Pray.

'Doctor, did you say 5 minutes of traction, or 5 hours?'

"The party was a total surprise! Everybody jumped out and screamed 'Happy Birthday' just as I was licking my balls!"

Swine flu

"Have you ever actually seen a chicken cross the road?"