Humor-loving Hound Hero Pillows

'I'll be your best friend, but nothing kinky.'

'Hey Harry, you know you've been walking around with a biscuit on your nose for the last two hours?'

'Are we nearly there yet?'

"Your usually vicious sarcasm is weak. Go pump some irony."

No Soliciting

Pet psychic -- yup, she's for real.

'Why is it he never understands sit , stay or down, but understands spayed and neutered?'

"No Joke! I taught my dog to fetch coffee."

'Trains traditionally run late, it rains on bank holidays and Yorkshire pudding is a main course.'

"Consider yourself chased."

Woman is shocked at seeing her weight, she doesn't realise that her dog is also on the scales.

'I taught him to shake hands, but I don't know where he got the joybuzzer!'

'Ere-we distinctly asked for SAM an' Ella!'

'Would you like me to wipe the cup with my finger or would you prefer Rover here licking it clean?'

'Bob likes to express himself through his art!'

'No need to shout.'

'Doctor, did you say 5 minutes of traction, or 5 hours?'

'Good dog!'

'When they start calling you a splendid bird, you know you're in trouble.'

'Toilet paper, Lassie! Fetch toilet paper! Stupid mutt!'

Dog to dog: 'I hate the way pointers are always blaming somebody else.'

'No! That's not a wall safe, it's a porthole!'

A sausage dog shrinking after toileting

"And yet, I too am a still life."

Canine Scent-ipede

"Not sure if I'm hungry or bored."

"I think that I shall never see a tree on which I wouldn't pee."

Beware of dog...poop.

"Is that one of those brandy dogs?"

The Poodle and The Twooudle.

Labradoodle/Labradon't-le

'Eject! Eject, eject eject!! Aw crimony. I've hit the button 6 or 7 times, Cap'n. And the darned CD still won't come out.'

Lawyer to client: 'Yes, your turnover at the pastry shop would fall under tort law.'